Helena ✧
Region: US
Monday 17 November 2025 21:04:23 GMT
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Jin :
funny bc im literally experiencing this rn. ive been subconsciously putting myself in the same cycle over and over again.. but i feel like im genuinely on my last round this time, and once this is done, im all for myself and no one else
2025-11-17 21:49:10
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c✨ :
this is me and i’m actively working on it. but honestly it’s been hell, i have NO idea how do people relate to others without solving and helping, i have no idea what to talk about or what to do.. it’s been a rocky path for me
2025-11-18 03:59:03
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Say Myname :
The life away from your family becomes so damn calm
2025-11-18 15:08:31
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Shaun C. :
It feels selfish to focus and take care of ourselves. Codependency sucks, but I'm glad I'm not a narcissistic abuser. Boundaries and balance is an opportunity here. 🙏
2025-11-17 23:20:12
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KG :
My FYP page really said, “Here, Damn.”
2025-11-18 04:15:49
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Indigo Ahnix :
My friends get mad when i no longer make their urgencies and emergency. They don’t understand im tired of rescuing others when i don’t have anyone to rescue me.
2025-11-18 19:26:19
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Efree :
I mistook trying to fix peoples trauma and prblems as depth and connnection my entire life. Undoing that wiring has been hard but eye opening.
2025-11-20 17:41:09
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Lou Siffer :
when I don the emotional caretaker role I am making a decision for me and the other person, which isn't fair to either of us
2025-11-18 06:24:38
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sacredsoulsabree :
I can resonate 100 percent. I love my Mommy down and she’s a great person but she dumped on me constantly from a youngggg girl.
2026-01-14 16:17:57
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btrust04 :
This is too true. My therapist has to help me see when others are being neglectful in my relationships. I just can’t see it
2025-11-18 12:16:03
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forgiveurselfunlessuracop :
but everyone is so emotionally stunted and under developed
2025-11-18 14:46:49
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AliciaFrancis :
"seeing people as though they are puzzles to be solved" and fixed. I feel like I've been working on this for years and although I've made progress, I feel like I'm spinning my wheels right now.
2025-11-18 16:17:46
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Molly Magarik :
Been working on these patterns a lot this fall and it feels weird to relate to people now. I don’t think I appreciated how much this pattern was my default mode and now it feels like I’m totally relearning relationships
2025-11-18 09:21:13
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shelbysassinfit1 :
I could listen to you talk for hours. You have such a gift
2025-11-18 00:05:44
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itsKim :
every time I listen to you my frontal lobe develops
2025-11-18 17:45:52
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oblivion root :
it's been such a load off to stop building and running simulations of people in my mind
2025-11-18 06:33:58
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roundabout876 :
God damn, this is me 100%
2025-11-17 21:23:09
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SonomaPondLady :
So true. I have the habit of attracting friends who want to be saved, but who also have a ton of pride so they can't admit they are receiving help at all. So my role becomes to help them while also pretending for their sake that I am not. In the beginning it feels like I am being gracious and generous and not expecting reward because I love this person. But they start to resent me because their ego doesn't like that they need me, and my resentment builds because my help and labor is never acknowledged or appreciated, and the friendship eventually implodes spectacularly.
2025-12-10 19:25:16
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nikidoesitall :
Just tag me next time, damn
2025-11-18 19:05:27
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heidi25 :
I just met someone in my DBT group and was going to repeat my old patterns but have to remind myself of how I try to insert myself in a role as the loyal undivided attention and everything you stated in this video its second nature
2025-11-17 21:37:18
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dattmiaz :
My question is, so we see these people, have the tendency to want to rescue, we recognize the pattern we have now, but how do we just let people be lol? Or do we not have a relationship with them? Because when I see their behaviors over and over make things difficult I can't remain at peace or pretend it's okay.
2025-11-19 01:21:20
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username47282928372828 :
parentification?
2025-11-18 08:10:22
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Emma Hewson :
needed to hear this 😌
2025-11-17 23:43:42
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lolicanoli2 :
Literally said, “Wow.” out loud to myself while listening to this. I so relate and feel so seen. You’ve put words (so articulately, might I add) so something I haven’t quite been able to successfully state. So grateful.
2025-11-18 12:59:29
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antics.with.arlo.and.halo :
You described my situation perfectly growing up. I have been in therapy the few years and last feb i decided to set a boundary with my mum in a compassionate way rehearsed with my counsellor and my mum had a complete meltdown anyway and we barely spoke for several months. My life’s been so peaceful but now that her bday and Xmas is coming she’s talking again and acting like nothing happened. She’s already started offloading about her health issues and I’m reacting bad after ending up with panic attacks cause it’s so triggering. Now I’m gonna have to set this boundary again and she may repeat the process of falling out and being dramatic if this happens again I will cut ties with her
2025-11-18 16:11:44
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