Astrid :
It hurts to accept that it wasn’t a lack of love, it was a lack of effort. It hurts to realize that while I was fighting for the relationship, you were just comfortable. I was trying to fix what was breaking, and you pretended not to hear it falling apart. And even then, I stayed… because loving someone can blind you.
I stayed when I started feeling alone even with you by my side. When my words stopped mattering and my feelings were treated like exaggerations. I stayed even when I began asking myself when I stopped being enough for you. And that’s what hurts the most: realizing I broke myself trying to save something you had already let die.
I chose you every single day, even through your silence, even through your absence. You chose me only when it was convenient. And still, I waited… waited for a change, an explanation, a sign that I wasn’t loving alone.
You don’t know what it’s like to love with fear. Fear of speaking, fear of bothering, fear of losing. You don’t know what it’s like to swallow your tears so you don’t seem weak, or to defend the person who is hurting you the most. I do. And that’s why it hurts so deeply now.
Letting go hurts, but staying where you’re no longer cared for hurts more. It hurts to accept that I was never a priority, that my efforts weren’t enough, and that my love wasn’t enough for someone who never knew how to value it. Not because I wasn’t enough… but because you never knew how to love.
This isn’t a text of anger, it’s one of exhaustion. Of a heart that emptied itself trying to fill another. Of someone who loved genuinely and ended up learning that love without reciprocity also destroys.
And if one day you read this, I don’t hope you come back. I just hope you understand that I didn’t lose anything… you lost someone who loved you even when you were already gone.
2026-01-11 05:23:49