Codependency Kate
Region: US
Friday 21 November 2025 15:30:37 GMT
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lisabingamanspellman💙 :
If you think about it, and I agree with everything you say, by the way, love your content, it all boils down to compliance, not love. We are taught to comply, using fear of punishment in the home, in church, in school, in the workplace and then with the law. I’m learning that because I was indoctrinated into a fear based religion from birth, from a scientific standpoint, that chronic fear environment did not allow for normal brain development /function because fear chronic fear makes your body release a hormone that actually lessen your ability to engage the part of your brain that’s used for question and reasoning. So those of us running around in fighter or flight mode from the time we were kids and now we’re parents, were just perpetuating the same fear based compliance structure because that’s all our brains literally know.
2025-11-21 17:36:38
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midwestmahhhhnster :
I think you're right, and it's about them feeling that rush of fear/shame/whatever their parents put into them for "being disrespectful" as a kid and instead of sitting with themselves in that and giving that terrified little inner child the love, grace, and curiosity she needed when she got harsh correction, they reinforce that that was the right response and do it to their kids to not have to look into their own past feelings.
2025-11-21 16:21:48
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5yd8nth :
A tone is the front an emotional experience to be curious about.
2025-11-21 16:15:08
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Charity Hopper :
it’s wild how we tell kids not to take that tone with me like we expect them to have a far better emotional regulation skills than we do
2025-11-24 23:49:05
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paulaahlbin :
I get what the commenter is saying. Thank you for responding with language that makes sense and helps process this concept. I struggle here and by kids deserve to learn better 🩷
2025-11-21 20:20:53
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Callie Stoker :
Home is not and should not be the real world. It should be the safe place, the refuge, the place where you are cared for and about.
2025-12-17 20:06:20
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Oril Vdog Olson :
I try to remember my first real job / boss and how I was SEVERELY punished for rolling my eyes (Army). it was a bad habit as a teen. and yes Tone matters and it never occurred to me how it came across to those around me. I understand what you are saying - but I have real life experience that is also guiding me. 😩
2025-11-22 14:20:14
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Rogue.wonder :
Omg this needs to be said so much more
2025-12-04 19:25:32
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ErikaN75 :
Children are not small adults.
2025-11-21 15:40:19
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BreadDad :
😁😁😁
2025-11-22 13:19:46
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zaa :
😁
2025-11-25 20:30:52
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Lulu ✨ :
😂😂😂
2025-11-22 13:11:17
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shelb :
i rly wish i could send ur vids to my parents but i know they are way too shut off to get it 😔
2025-11-22 20:39:49
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jojo :
Worst case is looking for that love in all the wrong places (jobs, sex, using kids as a replacement aka "my kids will love me")
2025-12-10 18:15:00
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drsaladfingers :
It seems like you kind of made a generalization so that you didn’t have to address what was actually said in that comment.
2025-11-21 19:05:07
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Mary :
I 100 agree. The real world is not supposed to be emotionless so let’s not gear up to protect those environments
2025-11-22 00:53:31
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mamacody :
Thank you. 😭
2025-12-15 23:08:36
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Garden lover :
Tone police 😂
2025-12-30 20:58:26
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On Charlie Time :
My daughter is ASD and suffers from extremes in tone and behavior. When she’s screaming and yelling I do tell her that I’m happy to talk with her when she can calm her body. I don’t leave her , I sit with her (as long as she isn’t trying to hit). But is that wrong still?
2026-01-15 07:09:21
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