@gianaemily_: Our last cuddles🕊️ What’s crazy to me is that I wish I was back here. The most traumatising time of our lives. Getting to cuddle you, kiss you, brush your hair, bath you and just deeply love on you like no tomorrow. I think back to how traumatic this was but yet so grateful we got this time with you. We had just woken up from our first over night sleep as a family & I took you out on the hospital balcony for the last time for what felt like ‘fresh air’ & you weren’t laying on ice. Your 2 big big sissy’s got to love on you while your other big sissy slept. We cried together & took in this moment together. The dissociation through the swollen eyes is something I’ll never be able to explain. Knowing I was living an absolute nightmare yet still had more nightmares to come that day and following. As we sat in this moment my family were my angels. My Dad & Aunty up at the Ronald house early morning to load the cars up and move us out so we didn’t have to return. My sister doing the biggest research in funeral homes and organising for our boy to be picked up so we could hand him straight over and not the hospital (best funeral home and ladies we could have wished for) & my dad and nanna came up this same morning to be present. We came home home to everything there, a full food shop in the fridge & so much more behind the scenes because of my family. I’ll never be able to repay them. We got to spend unmatched time with our boy. But I won’t lie in this moment we felt it all. The heartbreak of not wanting to be there was so so heavy yet we didn’t want to leave Luca. This is all that replays in my silent mind at the moment. This moment, these moments, how do my girls feel and how much this would have traumatised them yet I let them choose what they wanted. Numb, broken, hollow, empty, heartbroken, traumatised, pained. Meet me by the river my son, mummy is waiting for you always and each day is a step closer to you❤️🕊️ #healing #infantloss #griefandloss #heartwarrior #3daysold

Giana | Mum of 4 +Angel Mama🪽

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Region: AU

Saturday 22 November 2025 13:10:43 GMT