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mekan9112o
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garyndas
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до молекуль?😊
2025-11-22 23:54:09
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alihan_oo5 🇹🇲🇹🇷 :
gozimi kor etdin yoramde pashel😐
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Mary owadan Abadan bilen🌷
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Привет кейижек🥰
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This was an extremely vulnerable post for me. Please be mindful I am still very early in this recovery journey.  For the past 15 hours, I have wanted to crawl into my little hole and isolate from the world like I usually do when things get tough. I learned at a young age that my needs weren’t important, so I stopped voicing them. I started to learn to shut down instead. Deal with things on my own.  I found a friend, her name was Anorexia and she kept me safe. She helped me keep the emotions small. She taught me to keep myself small.  In recovery, I am making friends with Monie. She is teaching me to speak up. She is teaching me to talk about what is going through my mind, body, and soul. Still, I don’t think I talk enough about how often I just want to relapse. Not because I don’t want recovery. I do. I want a real life, for maybe the first time ever, more than I can explain. But some days, wanting a real life and wanting to return to the thing that took it from you, at a very young age, can somehow exist at the same time. It’s hard sitting at home and watching other people live the life you wish you were living. Watching people go out, make plans, travel, work, and just… exist without having to think about whether their body can handle it. Sometimes I get so frustrated with how long this takes that going back to my old ways feels tempting.. not because I want to stay sick, but because I’m tired of feeling stuck. For the longest time, my eating disorder has been all I have ever known. I really, truly, can’t remember a time in my life without it. It has been the one thing that hasn’t abandoned me, yet now, I am chosing to abandon it.  But recovery isn’t always some big, inspiring moment. Sometimes it’s messy and imperfect. Sometimes it looks like choosing my energy drink over my Ensure coffee because that’s what I can handle in that moment and trying not to let perfectionism convince me that means I’ve failed. I’m learning that recovery isn’t supposed to be easy. It’s supposed to be worth it. So when I feel myself wanting to go backward, I try to remember the bigger picture. I’m not doing this because I enjoy every second of it. I’m doing it because there is still a life waiting for me on the other side of this, one that I’ve never experienced, one without an eating disorder.. and I want to be here long enough to live it. 🤍 #edsheeranrecoveryy #wieiad #foodisfuel #innerchildhealing #healingjourney💜
This was an extremely vulnerable post for me. Please be mindful I am still very early in this recovery journey. For the past 15 hours, I have wanted to crawl into my little hole and isolate from the world like I usually do when things get tough. I learned at a young age that my needs weren’t important, so I stopped voicing them. I started to learn to shut down instead. Deal with things on my own. I found a friend, her name was Anorexia and she kept me safe. She helped me keep the emotions small. She taught me to keep myself small. In recovery, I am making friends with Monie. She is teaching me to speak up. She is teaching me to talk about what is going through my mind, body, and soul. Still, I don’t think I talk enough about how often I just want to relapse. Not because I don’t want recovery. I do. I want a real life, for maybe the first time ever, more than I can explain. But some days, wanting a real life and wanting to return to the thing that took it from you, at a very young age, can somehow exist at the same time. It’s hard sitting at home and watching other people live the life you wish you were living. Watching people go out, make plans, travel, work, and just… exist without having to think about whether their body can handle it. Sometimes I get so frustrated with how long this takes that going back to my old ways feels tempting.. not because I want to stay sick, but because I’m tired of feeling stuck. For the longest time, my eating disorder has been all I have ever known. I really, truly, can’t remember a time in my life without it. It has been the one thing that hasn’t abandoned me, yet now, I am chosing to abandon it. But recovery isn’t always some big, inspiring moment. Sometimes it’s messy and imperfect. Sometimes it looks like choosing my energy drink over my Ensure coffee because that’s what I can handle in that moment and trying not to let perfectionism convince me that means I’ve failed. I’m learning that recovery isn’t supposed to be easy. It’s supposed to be worth it. So when I feel myself wanting to go backward, I try to remember the bigger picture. I’m not doing this because I enjoy every second of it. I’m doing it because there is still a life waiting for me on the other side of this, one that I’ve never experienced, one without an eating disorder.. and I want to be here long enough to live it. 🤍 #edsheeranrecoveryy #wieiad #foodisfuel #innerchildhealing #healingjourney💜

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