the despite system 🌱
Region: US
Wednesday 26 November 2025 20:09:57 GMT
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Tabitha :
I really enjoy your content when it comes up on my fyp as someone with OSDD who enjoys hearing about others experiences with alters! That said, I’m BEGGING you to use a different spoon or something for the mic because it did not look like a spoon upon first glance 😭
2025-11-26 20:35:48
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thatartistwiththevoices :
We’ve warned a couple people outside our system that our longest term (adult) alter has been very good at predicting fusions and she’s been saying for a while now that she thinks it’ll be me and James next. I’m a host, and he’s our cohost and our primary protector. It’s gonna be pretty rough on us and our friends if she’s right. 🫠 I know some systems don’t view fusion as a loss or something to grieve, but we do and we don’t know what’s gonna happen. I’m hoping it’ll more be a “James steps up and I step down” primary host swap situation and not a fusion. But there’s no way to know for sure. I can’t imagine life “without” him though. (Also that TØP song Drag Path trending has been DESTROYING me looking back on previous hosts lol, highly recommend if you need a good cry.) - E
2025-11-27 19:00:05
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twilightsmith :
I split from one of the oldest protectors in our system because he couldn't stand existing with the emotions and memories intact. I've grown so much since then, while he stayed inside unless nobody else could do what was needed, and I've become someone I can live with. He fused with me again just about a month ago, and the feelings are so complicated about it. I literally owe who I am to him, and he's gone now. The only things left are vague memories and feelings, and I haven't even really started to process it yet. ☕️
2026-02-19 01:21:27
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🌌Andromeda’s Fools🃏 :
Oooh tysm for this video friend! Do you have any advice for systems with partners who would grieve a fusion or dormancy? For example we worry that some alters who were in our system previously (and were/are dating our hosts fiancé) aren’t here anymore, but we aren’t sure how to tackle that or help with the grief their partner may feel if that were to be the case! Tysm for taking your time to explain these more sad and often unspoken topics! We don’t see a lot of people talk about dormancy or fusion so your videos have helped us a lot to understand!
2025-11-26 23:26:25
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Rowan :
I totally understand this experience. I was diagnosed a few months ago and went through that whole scary process with another alter Ronnie, and eventually fused to become a new alter. I miss her even though we fused. For me it felt like I gained a lot of her traits and emotional capacity but still felt like me, so I definitely feel her absence even if we're technically "one" now.
2025-12-11 18:00:16
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constellationcrosslight :
I have been thinking of making a video about this because I don’t want to be controversial but I have actually had the opposite experience of this. I see systems posting all the time about grief in fusion, and in our experience that only happens when we are *mistaken* about a fusion, and actually the alter went dormant or split something off. When a real fusion happens (in our experience of course), it never feels like losing somebody; it feels like those alters becoming a fuller and more complete self, owning ALL of the memories and experiences and relationships of those parts as their own. I know people are going to say, “Lucky you,” and probably disagree with me, and that’s okay, but I’m just putting this out there…if fusion feels like grief and loss, stay curious that you may reunite with that part later. If they don’t feel like they’re there, maybe it’s because they’re not—and you CAN find them again. Just food for thought. Stay curious. 💜
2026-01-01 16:12:52
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☆★𝕯𝖊𝖑𝖎𝖑𝖆𝖍★☆ :
Result of a fusion here, too! I'm slowly unlocking some of the memories the two parts of me had before, well, they became me. The grief is very real and can be highly upsetting, but I'm pushing through
2025-11-28 21:34:28
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K :
I also fused with my primary protector and it feels the exact same. I miss him so much. I wish he would come back as himself
2025-11-27 01:00:51
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Castor :
its really weird to miss someone who genuinely caused so much pain and fear, but she was alright after a while. she did her job and i think just left after a while when she knew her job was done. i miss her jokes. i wonder where she went. its weird
2025-11-26 20:51:31
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sometimesfunnyinfl :
Does anyone remember the first host or miss her?
2025-11-28 14:11:59
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izzy.draws.things11 :
Hey! I have a question. I am trying to get therapy to get diagnosed , and I’m not asking you to diagnose me, but I feel like most of my altars don’t have/ haven’t told me, the host, their names. What should I do lol
2025-11-28 00:23:30
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MixedMedia :
We have a symptom holder and a gatekeeper/protector who recently got engaged in headspace and they're both absolutely terrified or either of the fixing with another head mate
2025-11-27 02:22:03
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Jennifer Tobin42 :
I might not fully understand being a system, though I do understand grief so I agree with you about allowing yourself to grieve and I honor every system that has gone through this grief.
2025-11-28 02:58:53
1
SparkplugMedia :
I really appreciate the thoughtful response, thank you
2025-11-26 23:50:47
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sometimesfunnyinfl :
I'm gonna cry
2025-11-27 04:16:30
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Miss Millennial :
Is there any appropriate way to tell someone you suspect they might be a system? Or maybe that’s not the right way to go… Talking about immediate family member that doesn’t know.
2025-11-27 06:34:30
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rainingtrees system🌈🌲 :
Can fusions happen without consent?💔 This terrifies me everyday — Justice
2025-12-10 18:58:20
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sometimesfunnyinfl :
💔
2025-12-22 08:20:02
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systemofaclown :
when i lowkey fused, my headmate went on such an emotional bender, he was able to force our psyche to spit me back Hercules-style. it was def incredibly rough for him and a super weird experience for me. he is NOT ready for any of us to integrate fr
2025-11-28 05:58:37
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°♡°KD°♡° :
I was wondering if you all have any advice for building confidence in a system/ for the host? we are in a healing yet dark place in our life and unfortunately we're not given the tools to build up confidence in a healthy way. if anyone plural or single, if you have any advice that would be most appreciated 🫂💜
2025-12-22 16:35:36
1
Dobie Den ☆ :
our host of, well since we have concrete memories, fused into the system in 2023 and we aren't even entirely sure into whom or where, but the grief we felt was so debilitating in ways that made us have to lie and tell others we had a friend pass away, and it still rears its head sometimes. we always felt bad for it, im glad to hear that we aren't alone as heartbreaking as that is
2025-11-26 23:37:42
1
BluSpiral Phoenix System :
I love the spoon 🥄
2025-11-27 02:31:56
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Cheri!!! ^^ :
Uh so i have a question not relating to the video, so I’m a suspected system (im “not allowed” to have a therapist due to family issues and also im still a minor) but is it normal (specifically for fictives) for a fictive alter to SAY their name, for example we have an abbadon alter/fictive (haunted hotel on Netflix basically) and he’s shown up and said his name, but whenever they do front we keep trying to deny the existence and say that he’s not that fictive because we feel like we’re faking having him, this does happen a lot, specifically with our bubble fictive (i think) who keeps saying their bubble and stuff but our brain says NO because we feel like we’re faking, is that normal? Just wondering
2025-11-27 03:34:21
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