it’s that old adage - “why do i do the things i don’t want to do, instead of the things i do want to do?” i talk about ways i want to change/things i want to change in therapy but then struggle to actually change them. for me, it’s snoozing my alarm constantly even though i feel like a giant pile of dog poop most times that i do it. it’s knowing i want to read more — and that reading makes me genuinely happy — but still avoiding it. it’s needing to say “no” to plans i don’t actually want to do, and then somehow saying yes anyway and ending up resentful. why is it all so hard? why can’t i just figure it out? for high-achieving perfectionists (like me, hello 👋🏼), we stack goals on top of goals. how can i be the best version of myself? how can i optimize every corner of my life so i can feel efficient, successful, beautiful, fit, etc etc… all while making it look effortless to anyone watching? i hear things like this all the time: “i felt guilty for sleeping in even though i was home alone when i woke up.” we’re taught to do all the things, and to be good at all the things. in our culture, having a perfectly polished morning routine that looks like everyone else’s somehow means you’re doing it “right.” we see something on social media or tv and immediately think, “i should be doing more of that.” the goalpost keeps moving. my own therapist said something to me last tuesday that was profound to me: “what if the part of you that’s NOT doing all these things has something important to say? something she wants you to know?” (god i love her) because holding myself to an internal rule of “i must do xyz in order to feel good about myself” isn’t actually working. so i’m practicing doing a quick internal scan — checking in with myself in the MOMENT to see what i need. “what do i need right now? is this actually what i want to be doing?” instead of forcing myself to be perpetually “efficient” or “productive” from my imaginary “Project Optimize Jennifer” list. i’m curious how this lands with other high achievers? love y’all :) #therapistsoftiktok #therapy #coloradotherapist #therapytok #therapytiktok - @jenniferanncounseling