@b_mendoza711: If you would’ve told me 7 years ago this is what my life would look like now I wouldn’t have believed you. Mainly because I didn’t even think I was going to make it past the first week after losing my son, let alone years. But here I am. Because I kept going. I didn’t believe a single soul that told me I would make it through the darkest time in my life. I was in the deepest, thickest trenches of grief for what felt like THE longest time. The grief IS forever — something I’ve come to terms with — but now it’s just not as ‘heavy’ to carry as it was in the beginning. You learn to cope & eventually you just get used to carrying around the grief with you everywhere you go. It still hits in huge waves sometimes. Some days are better than others. Some days it hits me like a ton of bricks all over again. Other days it feels a bit lighter. But it never goes away. And it never will. I miss my boy more than anything, and that empty ache in my heart will always be there, forever wishing he was still here. But I’ll never forget the days I thought I’d never even be an ounce of okay again. The days where I would literally melt into a puddle in the floor and just cry uncontrollably begging God to take my pain away. I remember begging Him to fast forward me to a point in my life when I’d finally feel somewhat okay again. Little did I know, I needed to go through every single step to get here… even the hardest steps. Even when it broke me down to the lowest I’d ever been & even when I thought I wouldn’t be able to get back up. I had to claw myself out of those trenches. I had to choose to pick myself up out of bed everyday and keep going. I decided to live for my son. He didn’t get the chance to keep going but I do. And I live each day just like him — with strength, courage & resilience. I want to be a mother he can look down on & be proud of. And I want to be a mother my earthside babies can also be proud of. Now I live for them too. I want them to know they can do hard things. That they are stronger than they’ll ever know & that they can get through anything. Life is truly so unfair sometimes. I’ll never forget the days I thought I’d never even make it to where I am now. I honestly never even thought this kind of life was possible for me. Truly. I am forever thankful I decided to keep going to see it… there are so many beautiful things I would’ve missed out on. Life is so incredibly tough sometimes but it is also so incredibly beautiful too. I can now say I’ve lived both sides of that spectrum. I feel like I’ve experienced both the absolute worst part of life but also have also experienced the absolute best part of life — how ironic both of those parts of my life involve being a mother 🥹 and I am forever thankful God chose me to be their mom — they are & always will be the greatest blessings of my life. 🤍 if you’re someone who needed a sign to keep going — please let this be it. I know it may not feel like it now but I promise you that better days are coming. Hold on, and keep going 🫂 you never know what kind of life is waiting for you on the other side of those trenches. Please don’t give up. 🤍 I’m sure glad I didn’t. #griefjourney #griefandloss #infantlossawareness #bereavedmother #fypage

Brittany Mendoza

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Sunday 07 December 2025 00:20:03 GMT