@jorgethevanguard.10: This isn’t a person—it’s a medieval purity myth wrapped in collagen and denial. She looks like a haunted oil painting of “Disappointed Nobility, circa 1483,” cursed to eternally glare at anything slightly foreign, slightly loud, or slightly moisturized. Her entire aura radiates “I asked to speak to the crusade manager.” She doesn’t age—she calcifies. Her melanin levels are less “low” and more “theoretical.” Her immune system was trained by a 14th-century convent and her cheekbones were chiseled by papal decree. Her very presence demands a royal decree, a silent dinner, and at least three wars justified by religious feelings. If a eugenics pamphlet and a Puritan sermon had a baby raised on Coldplay and unseasoned chicken, this would be the result. A one-woman Vatican State of mind. She doesn’t blink—she contemplates your sins. Her energy? Less “fight or flight” and more “flagellant in a feudal monastery whispering psalms at the moon.” #CrusaderComplex #PaleontologyButMakeItBlonde #MelaninDeficiencySyndrome #RenaissanceKarenism #BiologyByInquisition @MagtheVanguard4 @خاموشی کا وینگارڈ

DV.M5TAN :

Intelligent and eloquent roasting will always be a pure art form 🤌🏾🤌🏾

ellie :

Loosie💨 :

artemisworld117 :

Ernest Moore :

this roast is epic. 😂😂😂😂😂😂

Christian Aldana :

a demon

🇭🇹 Nou Chire 🇭🇹 :

DesertRose_614 :

“Somehow survived The Black Death.” Lawdt, I AM hollering!😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣

Suzie AshtonHaus :

rachelRachelRACHEL :

Dame Good :

Good gravy, what a read 🔎🔎🔎

RichandEd :

Eloquently said and presented! 👏👏👏😂

missmadd 🇩🇿🍉🔻 :

Never in my 38 years have I witnessed someone get absolutely obliterated into smithereens with truer words 😂

1990 :

That eyes speaks a thousand words.✌

lvmalespin :

damnn... this is gold

kingEdward Morales :

your choice of words are impeccable 👌

Healing at 60 :

Period!!!!

Double Vision :

🤣😂🤣😂 I'm dying ☠️☠️☠️☠️not the dry shampoo

Logan :

We all grieve in our own way. Some of us just are just paid to do it every day on television.

LABellatini :

Replace vitamin D with passive aggression. I’m DEAD

Tina Marie Kenar :

WHERE ARE THE KIDS

Fupacabra :

Phenomenal Endeavors :