helena_earls
Region: US
Friday 26 December 2025 15:00:00 GMT
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Brittany :
I’m nearing 40 and in friendships with women just as independent and self-reliant as me (for the first time in my life) and it feels so awkward and uncomfy in a good way. There’s no role for me to play. They just enjoy me. What?! 🤯
2025-12-27 04:01:56
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eriwithan_n :
It’s crazy to outgrow this and realize that there’s no clean way out. You just have to keep choosing yourself over and over and be prepared for the possibility that it’s all going to come crushing down and that you should let it.
2025-12-28 05:55:52
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Annemarie 📸 creative branding :
that explains why besties snapped all of a sudden when I no longer wanted to validate all their delulu (especially when it turned concerning)
2025-12-27 22:51:38
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💜 :
This is me and I am currently down to one very casual friend in my city and one long distance also casual friend. I cant have a best friend. I go all in, become the mom, the healer, the giver. I always end up feeling used and taken advantage of, and also, I do this to myself. I literally have no idea who I am outside that role. I feel so useless otherwise.
2025-12-27 05:36:20
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Amanda | IHP | Hormone Health :
I feel so sick to my stomach realizing this 😪😪😪
2025-12-27 12:41:27
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PlastakFantastak :
That's not what a trauma bond is. Misuse of the term. A trauma bond is what occurs in an abusive relationship, where the dynamic shifts between good (abuser is idealizing victim) and bad (abuser is abusing victim). That is what creates a trauma bond. Trauma bonds are not created by bonding over shared trauma. That's a common misconsception.
2026-07-15 03:32:33
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oblivion root :
I feel seen. and I'm learning to avoid/stop trauma bonding.
2025-12-26 16:08:06
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Missy Em Kay :
This is all accurate. Since I’ve stopped seeking out these types of friendships and relationships, my life unfortunately feels empty and lonely. Casual friendships without that feeling of being ‘meant for each other’ is joy less for me. But those intense friendships were mental anguish hell. So….i guess I’ll get a cat now.
2025-12-28 00:51:27
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Kiki :
I 100% relate to this. Came to the same conclusions, broke off almost all my friendships. I currently don’t seek any new relationships as I don’t trust myself not to jump all in. I’m working on myself to develop healthy boundaries and once I’m ready, I know new connections will emerge.
2025-12-26 15:20:14
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Buckie W :
It’s so tragic. Two of my most treasured 15+ year friendships imploded. The saddest part to me is that we DID fit like puzzle pieces. We were little freak weirdos that found safety in one another. But we were so traumatized, like our friendship was built with broken bricks. But that’s all we had, all we knew. Those bad bricks ultimately crumbled. It’s so sad that the people who were denied love as children continue to have their hearts broken again and again in adulthood. I’m just sad for all of us
2025-12-30 07:20:08
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theappleandeve :
If you’re like I this I recommend seeking friendships with extroverted people that have their own community and other close meaningful relationships! The time they spend with you will feel more intentional and you know the connection that you have isn’t built on necessity
2026-01-29 18:00:06
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ShoshiesMinis :
I told my therapist I love the way enmeshment feels haha
2025-12-27 21:31:49
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Courtnie💘 :
As soon as I feel that level of intensity with someone, I know we have 30 minutes🤣🤣
2025-12-28 03:41:53
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merryneedsalaugh :
Then one friend grows and the 25 year friendship ends. Hard stop.
2025-12-27 15:27:10
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grandiflorum :
There are no boundaries in these friendships
2025-12-28 04:21:02
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Amy Jay 💜 :
Please stop literally describing exactly what my codependency issues are. 😭😂 your videos keep making me cry at 8 in the morning.
2025-12-26 15:12:46
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Justjas🖤🌻 :
Whew!!!!! I used to romanticize friendships because of trauma. I had to learn not to do this
2025-12-27 17:18:51
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Mari Mari :
Once you realize this, that friend will give you the most intense ick, and you will flee so fast.
2025-12-28 02:01:10
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Jules :
I wasted 30 years of my life on these relationships. DON’T DO IT
2025-12-27 22:40:59
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cyb3r1ean 🇵🇸 :
the worst friendship i ever experienced was this
2025-12-31 05:16:18
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naomi 🍒 :
I've noticed this. I always felt pressured to open up faster then I was ready to.
2025-12-27 18:00:00
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anderson_matrix69 :
I had a friendship like this, everything you said makes so much sense now. I felt chosen sums up how I couldn't let go because of the highs and lows. now I'm slowly building a relationship with myself 💯 it's scary lonely but I am more at peace
2025-12-28 05:46:08
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MichRB :
It happened. I was the listener, the regulator, but it didn't feel nice to me...at all
2026-01-03 03:14:55
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Grackl3 :
I think I am finally experiencing a very intimate friendship that somewhat departs from this pattern? There are still elements of intensity and wanting to be near them, but it took a while to build. I also feel we both push each other to grow instead of staying stagnant or portraying a specific role? I was very confused at first when I was allowed to have support in return and not just listen. Also I find that while I miss them when they are busy or with other friends, I don't feel erratic or threatened by their absence or love for other people. I do still feel the very "meant to be" kind of elements, but it doesn't feel like something that consumes me. It feels like they were a treasure that was withheld from me until we were both ready, or else we probably would have crashed and burned. But we're both mature enough at this point to just. Be? Its very nice.
2025-12-27 18:56:20
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abbey b. :
I didn’t even get 30 seconds into the video before I liked it because I’ve been there and now that I’m on the other side, I recognize this isn’t what real friendship looks like. It’s toxic.
2025-12-28 17:30:31
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