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Wednesday 24 December 2025 17:03:15 GMT
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Tracer_001 :
My counselor said if a ‘friend’ did to me what my mother did, would they still be my friend? I said, “no way”! My therapist said to stay grounded in that! Now, regarding missing the relationship, my therapist reminded me of how when I broke it down, I discovered that I maintained a fantasy relationship (what I thought it should be) all on my own. That’s exhausting and life is too short! Love your family and true friends, nobody needs friends like the ones you called parents! Blessings!
2025-12-24 20:01:55
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Christy Brewer :
I watched both videos and am getting more and more angry…with you. You mentioned that you don’t want your kids around people who don’t respect their parents, yet your kids are around you, and you don’t respect your mom. Why is it ok for you? Stop the emails and talk to her, face to face. She is your mother. You are who you are because of her. Let that sink in….the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. Stop with the ridiculous no contact. Very immature decision and really only a tik tok trend with people your age. It’s nonsense and you will regret this, I promise you. She’s human, living her life for the very first time. If you expect perfection from her then I should see that in you, but YOU ARE NOT PERFECT!!!
2025-12-26 15:35:46
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Gretchen Elaine :
I have gone limited contact with my mom. I am still struggling and grappling with the decision of no contact with my mom. I struggle often with not running to her for comfort, for sharing the joy, etc. Struggling with not over sharing when we do speak. Keeping things basically surface level. Lately she has started saying "I love you" which makes everything that much harder because that's all I've ever wanted and wanted to hear. Yet it is hard to believe she truly does. It is hard to not think it is being used as a w e a p o n i z i n g statement. She hasn't once actually apologized for the a b u s e I endure as a child and teenager. It may not have been physical, it still was and is a b u s e. Instead somehow I am at fault for being rebellious. For lying, etc. I make my childhood seem worse than it was and look at all she did for me. I make her look worse than she really is. I felt everything you said here, especially the "I am not missing my mom, missing the mom I wish I had".
2025-12-26 20:29:31
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Maplemom 🇨🇦🇺🇸🆘 :
I’ve been low/no contact for nearly 10 years. It’s still hard. I put my grief into loving my kids. When I yearn for motherly love, I give/say/do what I would want from my mom into doing that for my kids. It helps me to know that I’ve broken the cycle. It helps me to know my kids will never wonder if I love, want, like, respect them. I tell & show them openly, clearly, directly & often. That plus therapy is all that’s helped me, but it still hurts.
2025-12-29 13:21:31
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janicedrummond49 :
Teaching your kids to go no contact with you when they gets to be adults. They will live what they learn
2025-12-26 11:52:39
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Dru Kelley387 :
As a mom I wish you had the mom you deserve. Unfortunately you did not. I hope you find a person that can fill some of the love and grace and support in your life.
2025-12-27 14:09:14
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Theresa Carvalho :
I don’t understand people who expect unconditional love without extending it themselves
2025-12-28 03:00:10
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Barbara Fairbourn :
If your mother were to make the changes you wish for, you would have a brand new list pop up. You can only change yourself, bo one else. The change you have made by no contact, robs you. And robs your children. We all must live and learn.
2025-12-26 22:49:51
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Just Jen :
I went “no contact” 8 years ago. Biggest regret is that I didn’t do it sooner. I see you.
2025-12-26 20:26:43
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Thisisnotnormal :
Going no contact with my mother was so easy for me. That shows what kind of a relationship we had. I never went to her for anything as soon as I turned 19. I have never depended on her for any emotional support of any kind. I never had one so it was easy to let go. My family had an amazing Christmas with no stress or worry.
2025-12-27 22:33:24
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Purplepansy20 :
I'm so sorry. It's a loss like no other. I'm 14 years NC with my entire family. I left my abusive x and my parents and sisters sided with him and tried to help him take my kids away from me. There no coming back from that betrayal. It gets easier but the grief never really goes away. It's like a scar that gets tight and reminds you of the initial pain. It hurts again but not for long and not as badly. My life is infinitely better without them in it. But I had to cut contact with all my aunts, uncles, and cousins because they're so enmeshed that none of them are safe. Even now, 14 years later, they all still welcome the x into their homes. I've forged my own family and they are all wonderful, healthy people who love me for me. I'm actually considering telling my story in the new year.
2025-12-24 22:36:36
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chefofasalesman :
Not my story but my wife's so I'm keeping it vague. I have never met my in-laws and my wife hasn't spoken to her parents since right before our wedding (which they chose not to attend). it was hard for the first few years, but this past year has been really good thanks to my wife working very hard in therapy. she is very happy with her decision to go no contact because the peace she is experiencing now was never going to be possible with her parents in her life. You did the hard thing, there are a couple more hard things to do, but then the peace is worth it.
2025-12-27 15:06:30
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Hailey :
I need a mom but not my mom…wow. I have been NC for many years from most of my family and I haven’t had the words to describe that feeling before this minute and it makes me want to cry. Thank you. The closure comes in small ways, being different. Raising your children with love and respect the way you deserved. You are worthy of love and you matter. 🥰
2026-01-28 20:15:48
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Smilinirishlass :
As an estranged Mom of a daughter close to your age I wonder about two things that maybe you could offer perspective on: Why would a child choose NC but not explain the reasoning to a parent? And second: If the parent had been misdiagnosed all their life, finally got an accurate dx with meds that helped...would that make a difference in how you felt? Not saying it excuses anything, but maybe it helps explain why progress and change was so hard...? Dunno...those are the things I struggle with as someone on the other side.
2026-02-07 01:10:34
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kathryngaunt610 :
You broke up with your mother thru an email?
2026-02-19 20:05:32
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Crazy8s :
Grief is totally normal. I went through it too. But I also understand that feeling when I was around her was completely draining. I was just a ghost of myself because they have no idea who I am. I’m just filling a place of “demand” not even request.
2026-01-06 17:51:11
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whatthekara :
i’m just over a year out from going no contact. it’s hard to not have that person but we miss a person who never existed. i’m so much better off now and have been hurt and cries alot less since i made my choice. hugs
2025-12-24 17:53:30
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rememberwhothehellur :
19 years here. Then she passed away. That changes u and not finding closure is hard to get over
2026-02-18 15:02:16
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mimi :
All this started with a car seat for your 2yr. old? Really? Many comments on your part 1 have not been answered.
2025-12-29 04:53:04
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Megan :
We are almost on the same timeline. October 4th is the last time I communicated to my mother. I feel you. I see you & I would
2026-01-05 00:51:57
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AnnaBanana2026 :
Hang in there!💝
2025-12-31 00:09:18
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MrsH1089 :
Hey little sis, you don’t know me but I am now your new big sis! I have been no contact with my own mother for the last 7 years. It took me going no contact for my 9 years of infertility to end (literally conceived my daughter the month after I cut my mother off!) You are smart, you are strong, and you ARE doing hard things! Keep going! My inbox is always open if you need a big sis hug!
2025-12-29 23:53:39
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Stay in the Flow :
You can develop multi generational relationships. I had a mother who was selfish, cruel, and not nurturing on her best day. It took effort but today I have several older women I can go to kinda like fairy god mothers and I can see I am so much better off. Sending you love! You can reparent yourself and start giving yourself all the love and kindness you haven’t received when you needed it.
2026-02-20 07:17:45
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TheGuyInTheChair87 :
im sorry youre going through this. I'm in the same boat with both of my parents. my solution so far has been found family and a very good therapist. it's worked well. haven't had any significant communication with either of them since spring of 2023 (Take all those things you said at the end of this post and replace "you" with "I")
2026-01-06 17:30:52
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Ro :
Being discarded by your parents after establishing clear boundaries has to be one of life’s most horrific betrayals. I was similarly discarded. The pain gets easier with time but you never stop needing a mum. I found one in a beautiful friend. Choose your family, they will buffer you
2025-12-28 11:46:31
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