Sadie Golden
Region: US
Tuesday 30 December 2025 19:22:42 GMT
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Kerri :
My husband read a quote, and repeats it often. “Do not let the family that raised you, ruin the family you are raising”
2026-01-01 18:08:18
5408
ackfit764 :
Am I to understand that the definitional line between “close family” and “enmeshment” lies in the reaction to and treatment of a person who asserts their own independence/boundaries? Like…the issue isn’t weekly family dinners or traditions but the reaction to family members who try to deviate?
2025-12-31 18:30:12
447
Heather :
I tell my daughter in law all the time that she can do what she wants and I’ll go along with her ideas. I’ve already raised a family. It’s her time. I encourage her make her own traditions. I’m not needy.
2026-01-01 19:59:04
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comfortabletee :
am i not alone in thinking weekly family dinners is a bit much to ask??
2026-01-03 18:46:07
785
Soph :
Thank you for mentioning weekly dinners bc wtf
2026-01-01 18:58:51
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Madison :
Why is it immediately “you’re keeping the kids from me” the moment you don’t do what they want
2025-12-31 03:24:54
2680
nat 🐈🍸🦄🥐🌈✨️ :
I'm not a gained daughter. I'm my own person building a NEW family with my husband. I did not join an old family, I started a NEW family, and if the older generation wants to participate in our lives as a secondary role in our new family, they need to respect boundaries and space and give us room to have our own family. my husband may still be "immediate family" to his mom but she is simply not my immediate family and pretending otherwise would do a disservice to the positive adult relationship I am actually trying to build. letting bonds and new traditions form NATURALLY is what keeps extended families close!
2025-12-31 18:07:57
889
Alyssa :
It's also hard when you're married without children! We still want to create our own traditions and own memories. We feel intense guilt for not wanting to participate.
2026-01-02 05:02:06
604
RoBin Dorianne :
We tell our three adult daughters that we all love being together, but we know you have other obligations & your own families - tell us where you want us to be and let me know if I’m cooking! Our special family time can happen whenever.
2025-12-31 19:12:23
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Shonita :
I hate the “this is the way it’s always been “
2025-12-30 21:05:27
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aub | sahm & milso :
We’re having our first baby in February and I am shaking in my boots for this next year of establishing boundaries
2025-12-31 14:02:16
668
beanfarts17 :
Obligation (and guilt) is a heavy, blunt tool that families use to forge closeness where there otherwise wouldn’t be.
2025-12-31 02:49:15
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Melissa :
There is a huge difference between an enmeshed family and a close family. Enmeshed families are all about control and obligation. Close families spend time together because they genuinely enjoy it and they have the freedom to do things their own way and truly be themselves, even if that means doing things differently.
2025-12-31 14:03:41
693
Ken's Tingle Sanctuary :
omg this!! another part of this that people dont talk about is the enmeshment in families with chronically ill family members (20+ years) and the guilt tripping that comes with that!
2026-01-02 21:23:21
0
Jennifer :
I cannot tell you how many times I paused this to absolutely freaking scream
2026-01-03 01:49:58
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RuthyB :
Leave and cleave. It’s totally natural and normal to want to establish yourself as your own family unit and have your own special and private traditions!
2025-12-30 21:26:51
630
mais :
THIS! No one “gets” us for holidays, it’s not “your year” to have me and my husband. We will be building our own traditions, and doing what WE want
2026-01-01 18:58:30
674
watashiwahstah777 :
Well damn! Watching this and realising I’m the extended family imposing our traditions and my poor sis in law 😩 thanks for posting this because everything you said is correct.
2026-01-02 19:54:34
190
M I C H E L L E :
The way I dread major life events because I know I will have to deal with family members who constantly and deliberately violate boundaries.
2026-01-02 21:53:04
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cmende811 :
Children don’t belong to us…they come through us to have their own life. We are a vessel.
2026-01-03 17:56:25
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AllSweetDay :
My best friend comes from the healthiest family I’ve ever met. They’ve always done their Thanksgiving and Christmas on the Saturday of the holiday together so everyone who got married felt no pressure and still got to have one together. It’s wonderful. 💕
2026-01-01 18:03:33
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Amidu Gayathri :
In a multi generational family and I’m the ‘daughter’ that was ‘gained.’ All systems and traditions are already set. But ‘you can do whatever you want.’ The only thing I gained is weight because I’m stressed out all the time.
2026-01-14 20:10:25
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tdubsgirl :
My husband and I were talking about this the other day. I’ve also noticed neither of us grew up having to go to grandparents houses for holidays, but our parents seemed to expect us to pack up our whole family and go to their house for every holiday. We are making sure we’re creating our own traditions going forward because traveling every single holiday is not it. of course we’ll try to see people as we can but it should never be expected as a requirement.
2025-12-30 20:06:16
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Steph :
My cookies hate crumbling
2025-12-30 20:05:01
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Shelovesjesus :
First of all, people seem to view boundaries as a form of punishment. If someone can’t set boundaries with you without you getting upset and in your feelings that’s an issue.
2026-01-02 22:40:40
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