Rachel | Relationship Coach ✨
Region: GB
Thursday 01 January 2026 17:21:58 GMT
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H :
As an anxious attachment person who just got broken up by a fearful avoidant person. I’ve been feeling really confused and worthless. This has helped me understand my ex more. But I don’t think she knows she’s a fearful avoidant
2026-01-30 11:47:24
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lilimoo :
Can you explain why fearful avoidant are so fixated on “not making the wrong choice”? My ex said that a lot. Why so much brain and no heart involved in decision making? It always seemed very robotic and strange to me.
2026-01-28 20:50:50
7
Michael :
100% me, I don’t deserve that much pain… Relationship = numb, indecision = constant pain, out of relationship = feel of lost love of my life = sharp pain. I learned the truth but too late…
2026-01-02 14:15:49
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manuel sandez :
As a FA myself, I collect enough information, data, memories, screenshots to be used later to not feel guilty as to the reason why I dump that person.
2026-01-02 09:19:19
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deddy :
it’s soo frustrating why can i only feel love in its absence
2026-01-02 08:50:51
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Faith Marie :
We were together for 3 years and he broke up with me out of no where (after talking about marriage) we live together and have 4 kids. We are still living together but completely separated and I’m devastated
2026-02-04 03:58:59
2
Dan :
Is 3 to 4 months of no contact postbreakup considered a long time for a fearful avoidant with secure traits? We had an 18 month relationship very deeply bonded and she’s been silent since the break up 3.5 months ago. She also rebounded with an ex within weeks And as I said has not made any attempt to reach out in 14 weeks. Is this considered a long time for a FA to remain deactivated? Or is it more likely that she’s no longer deactivated and is simply moving on with her life. Thanks so much for your content.
2026-05-31 05:59:18
0
____gh_28 :
Our relationship was going so well after 4.5 years and I think the idea of marriage and motherhood (identity and codependency) really terrified her. An argument was started out of nowhere and that was it. They fled. I do wish her the best and she immediately enrolled in therapy but it’s still sad and a shame. Feels like a waste.
2026-01-06 14:35:56
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ptrmrkks :
happen to me.. I'm still going through this
2026-01-01 22:10:31
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hun pun :
Geeez it makes me sad for them. I go through the emotional neglect from unannounced space and feel angst but I suddenly recover and realize how much they’ve gone thru and how this surfaces with so many relationships in their life. Hope my fa doesn’t consider me weak or a liability for seeing them through. I go maternal but wait for him to return. I know what o deserve and I hope I can somehow talk about coregulation. I’m seeing more people but what a shame.
2026-01-01 23:50:29
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thestizzle :
If the relationship has already ended and you’re both still in love but he’s compartmentalized those feelings and still wants to be “friends” but without any emotional responsibility, what kind of boundaries will have an effect on him? We’re both FAs but he leans a bit more dismissive
2026-01-05 12:40:13
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Max Simunec :
Or they just rewrite the narrative, and villainize you to make it easier to walk away and justify their behavior without having to look internally. OR they just distract themselves with a rebound. Either way they’re trying to avoid the internal work and accountability. Good luck
2026-01-30 21:29:19
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Km10000 :
It’s funny because sometimes this works to protect against some crazy partners, and other times it’s destructive.
2026-01-02 02:31:19
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elizabeth :
how do they built that internal safety and security? do they HAVE to be single to do that or they can do it from within the relationship?
2026-01-22 21:32:57
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cali :
thanks this really helped!! i just went through this and it was all so confusing and painful but you put what was going through my head perfectly into words. focusing on healing rn
2026-01-01 18:34:48
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Marina :
This is so me!! I feel like something is missing in my current great relationship and I feel regret over how I broke up with previous partners. And I’m scared of repeating the cycle but also want to listen to my gut 😞
2026-01-02 12:17:16
7
Nick Ridley :
do they come back . this is exactly what just happened to me and I'm heartbroken
2026-01-23 10:43:09
2
🔥 HotRod 🔥 :
put it on her FYP
2026-01-23 13:48:42
2
vita.radzina :
This is to me
2026-01-02 09:36:01
4
Stacy Hayden Gonzalez :
How does one build that safety within themselves though, what does that look like?
2026-01-02 07:26:28
0
tiktoked :
her FYP not mine
2026-02-10 15:37:41
1
userdh033 :
I had to run, again. The lever of intentional shame won this time. This time it’s it.
2026-01-03 15:24:19
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sarahhh :
if they are distracting themselves, do they ever meet their own safety needs?
2026-01-03 02:57:04
0
_adub_ :
But what if FA rebounded?
2026-01-02 17:00:11
1
Robin.Kendall327 :
This is ME 😢
2026-01-17 14:16:58
1
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