@jadenjeffs100: When identity is assigned instead of discovered, niceness becomes a safe way to flirt with authenticity. It’s not that Mormons have bad hearts. It’s that their niceness often comes from hunger, not freedom. More here on the Jaden Jeffs Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9QyFhP_1AFc
Very true. As a lifetime Mormon, I was assigned an identity and groomed to be a function, never an authentic individual.
2026-01-06 19:38:26
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👄Amy :
I agree. Obedience supersedes identity
2026-01-07 01:30:18
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shyof15 :
Members/Children are taught to not trust their feelings, instincts. Only trust the leaders who represent Jesus.
This sets them up for awful abuse.
2026-01-14 19:18:30
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The Kayla Show :
Even as a child I remember my biggest wish being to be a “real” person. I felt the things that made me unique were oppressed and there was a constant expectation to fit the Mormon mold. I didn’t make it in the church. I left in my 20s and the real world (which I had been taught to fear) was more beautiful and genuine than I’d ever imagined.
2026-01-07 14:54:29
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ѕнαnnon :
wow.. I just moved to Utah from Georgia and had never met anyone LDS before. the other moms in my neighborhood are just like this, when we do play dates it's like they are so interested and fascinated and we click and get on so so well, then they disappear for a couple months and come back. this explains a lot. very interesting!!!
2026-01-08 19:54:44
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froot loops :
Very true and once you're an exmember, they try to get you back for a while until they realize you're gone. Once you're gone, they don't care about you anymore.
2026-01-07 13:47:45
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Wanderology_Girl 🌺👣 :
This is why they come across as fake kindness. There is an underlying motive .They are flirting with being authentic . Then they pull back and judge it .
2026-01-09 06:32:12
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TbobbyZ :
Real talk. This hits hard. Thank you 🙏🏻
2026-01-07 13:01:07
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Some guy :
If members were really Christlike they would think “how can I help and lift this person up regardless of their background.” But they most often think in their minds if you aren’t a member “How can I get you to be Mormon and get you on the ‘right’ side and living the ‘right’ way?” It’s not the same thing at all.
2026-01-07 19:02:48
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JDshotrods :
This is the best explanation of the psychological warfare of Mormonism I have ever heard. I feel like the words were being pulled right out of my mouth. I think my biggest struggle now having left is raising my kids and allowing them to have their own individuality. I have to step back a lot and stop myself from stopping them. I hope that makes sense.
2026-01-07 17:08:36
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Everly & Loft :
Brilliant observation
2026-01-07 19:11:37
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fmjessop :
you are so right. I remember as a child in the flds, it was exciting even to know flds from SLC or Canada because they were "outsiders" and so foreign to us in short creek. when you interacted with non-flds it was heart pounding. on the other hand when outsiders came into town I remember closing the curtains and hiding with the whole family staying really quiet so they wouldn't know we were there. so sad.
2026-01-06 15:25:03
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Logan M. Davis :
Jaden, this is beautifully put, and deeply insightful.
2026-01-06 12:33:01
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Zach Froelich :
How dare you reach so deeply into my psyche
2026-01-08 16:25:07
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jenandthebabesalaska :
PS: The reason you cussed, was because you are finally being AUTHENTIC!!!!! I cuss like a damn sailor now, not because I’m bad, but because I am now FREE to be my AUTHENTIC SELF!!! My husband who didn’t grow up Mormon has always told me that people who cuss are the most authentic people and it bugged me for a while because I wanted to defend my religion and my family (who are good Mormon people) but now I get it! Sometimes it takes being on the outside looking in to finally be honest with ourselves huh?!
2026-01-07 23:16:45
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angel eyes :
Jayden you must've cried tears of joy when you got out to be able to authentically be yourself.
2026-01-06 03:18:27
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Shy🌿 :
YES when I was Mormon, I was so drawn to the “outsiders” which were really the normal people 😂 because I wanted so badly to become them. To become authentic, to actually be myself. The “outsiders” were raised to believe they could actually be themselves. And they were still accepted. I was told to be myself, but then ridiculed by family and other church members whenever I tried to be myself and leave the mold. The outsiders are actually the healthy normal people that aren’t afraid to be themselves. That’s what I craved in my younger years. To be accepted and still be myself. So I liked those people a lot. Then I became one 🙏🏻 ❤️
2026-01-07 17:03:22
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jenandthebabesalaska :
As a former member, I completely completely agree with this!!! This is my life growing up!!
2026-01-07 23:12:46
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Billy Cornwall :
Being nice isn’t a good fruit anymore?
2026-01-06 07:35:21
1
IS.AI :
I wholeheartedly disagree. It’s okay to be yourself within the bounds of the covenants you’ve made. We are all unique souls with varying experiences, abilities, and tastes. Obedience does not mean losing your identity.
2026-01-10 04:22:54
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mojojojo-sls :
Is this a targeted attack on a religion?
2026-01-08 08:57:03
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Ruger Coyote :
Dude is spitting nothing but facts
2026-01-17 06:20:08
4
KellyHatcher :
I’ve been trying to explain this to people, but you nailed it
2026-02-05 18:20:07
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mikesunlimitedworldwide :
You really brighten my day!
2026-02-19 03:03:57
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Big_Toe_Heavyweight :
I was active in the church until my late 30s, and I agree that the church hijacked my identity to some extent. I am curious, is this a Mormon phenomenon, or do we see similar in mainstream Christianity?
2026-01-07 14:37:17
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