xz.eodor :
How do you grieve for a love that was never clearly complete, never fully defined, yet somehow felt so real in your chest, like it existed in the quiet spaces between every conversation, in the late replies, in the pauses where words should have been but weren’t, and how do you let go of someone like Dira, my first love, when there was no clear beginning that you can point at and no proper ending that explains why it hurts this much, because we weren’t just strangers and we weren’t fully stable either, we were something in between, something that lived in late night talks where time didn’t matter and laughter felt easy, where her personality was both soft and sharp, kind but straightforward, playful yet sometimes mean just enough to make me mad and then apologize like she knew exactly how to stay in my heart, and maybe that’s why it became so hard to understand when things started changing, when warmth slowly turned into distance, when patience turned into irritation, when the same person who once felt so close started feeling far even while still being there, and I kept asking myself where it went wrong, if it was something I did or if it was just something that was always going to end this way, and now even after everything, even after she moved on and found someone else, I still find myself quietly pining in moments I don’t expect, not because I don’t understand reality, but because my heart still remembers how real it felt when she used to stay up just to talk to me, and maybe that’s the hardest part, that some people don’t leave loudly, they just slowly fade from your life while still staying alive in your memories, and you’re left trying to grieve something that technically ended, but emotionally never really stopped existing inside you.
2026-04-20 18:03:24