@radicalfriendliness: I don’t know how to be me. I don’t know what me is. I don’t where I begin and someone else ends. Can someone with a sense of self please tell me how they know it’s themselves and not a mirror of someone they like or love? I’m just trying to be me so I can find love but I don’t know how. #day42 #beyourself #exposuretherapy #darknightofthesoul #herosjourney

✨ Infin8 Monkey ✨ :

Hey! I am someone who regained myself after a time where I was made to be/feel small. My biggest advice would be to spend time with you and work out you. When you go to get a drink think about what you are getting. Do you actually like it? When you go through your day think what would make me, myself, alone feel happy right now - then do it. You can't learn about yourself till you sit with and question yourself. Consider you like a new person you've just met and are interested in getting to know. If the answer to anything is 'i don't know' then do it and see how you feel after

Mayah-Mystery :

Your so in-tuned most people can’t understand this level of consciousness your journey can get so lonely and hard for people to comprehend but their are people that can understand and experience this deep level of thinking ❤️😊

Elin Malmquist 😤 :

I find I anchor my “self” to the things I like. Things I find beautiful, like to look at or find interesting. Idk how to describe it. But I think the things you like says something about a person, and I find it to be a comfort to lean on my interest when thinking about my identity. You don’t have to “know” who you are, you just have to experience the world around you and try to find something you think is beautiful in the process❣️

Ujwal Mantha :

There is no true originality, here’s something I keep rereading to feel better: We are all curious collages, weird little planetoids that grow by accreting other people’s habits and ideas and styles and tics and jokes and phrases and tunes and hopes and fears as if they were meteorites that came soaring out of the blue, collided with us, and stuck. What at first is an artificial, alien mannerism slowly fuses into the stuff of our self, like wax melting in the sun, and gradually becomes as much a part of us as it was of someone else(though that person may very well have borrowed it from someone else to begin with) – From I Am a Strange Loop by Douglas Hofstadter

dumb idiot :

I hope this doesnt get buried- when you note throughout the day the little (or big) things that light you up, start making a note of it in your phone. Even if it's "the sound of birds chirping", or "moss in the woods" or literally whatever. Keeping track of the things that bring you joy is a way of understanding who you are. The list will expand as you continue and after days/weeks/months you are going to have more awareness into who you are and you will build on that. You can add new branches over time, "what are my values", "things I do that show me I care about myself", expand over time and you will learn all about yourself and it will flow naturally from there :)

hanna🪻 :

I remember having this feeling and realizing I didn’t know what I liked. I would try and picture my dream life, only to realize… I had no idea what that looks like. My whole personality was just my trauma manifesting itself as behaviours like people pleasing and anxious attachment. I’ve done a lot of work and the best advice I can share is don't try and be unique. I think people see the end goal of self-exploration as becoming this very individual, complex person. Humans are actually quite simple. Don’t be scared of loving something and making it part of your personality because you think it's generic, mainstream or boring. My soul lit up when I leaned into loving the colour purple and flowers. I have floral everything, I have flowers hanging off my ceiling. I redecorated my bedroom to feel like a little fairy in the forest. I’ve never felt more like myself!!!

melly runs,on emo🖤🥀📚🏃🏻‍♀️ :

my personality was trying to fix others and fix problems... i stopped doing that because I was tired of it and now I don't know who I am.. I never explored who I was .. as a 33 year old. I don't know who I am.

simonesvoboda :

This is normal for a mirror empath. You are at the stage of disconnect. You are becoming the observer of your life. You now get to choose what you saw in those mirrors and become your authentic self. It’s scary when you don’t understand what is happening but you are normal and on your way to being the authentic you.

Thiccinthesix :

You just described masking ✨💕

🌷🪻🌷🪻 :

no one actually knows me for me, only the roll i play. because I am an empty shell, but everyone only sees the smile on my face

Brittany 💜 🇨🇦 :

Ive struggled immensely over the course of...well... my whole life with the 'self.' Ive become so good at being a chameleon that I think the real version of me had been buried deep inside. I too, feel like Ive just picked up on things that others do and enjoy to claim them as mine, but they always felt so...stolen. so disingenuous. Its only been pretty recent where I have discovered some things that I actually enjoy that feel authentic. for me, its hiking/being in the mountains and photography. its interesting tho, I've hiked and been in nature countless of times....but now, its truly so different. I think a big part of why those things feel so authentic to me now is because I took a step into my child-self. I changed my mindset on why I was hiking..I remembered the moments where I felt so real and absolutely so free from everything as a child when I experienced my first time hiking/exploring. I think discovering the true self starts from sitting with your younger self & getting to know him and the moments that brought you the most excitement or peace ... if you struggle to bring anything up, maybe a start is by acting on and experiencing the things that your younger self would have thought was so cool. one day at a time...we'll get there. 💗

🇨🇦 Alison Logee 🥰🐿 :

This is a great topic. Don’t forget that we all bring out different things in each other. I hate to admit it but my partner, big time on the spectrum, has zero humour. Laughs very rarely. Doesn’t get humour. And I, did stand up for 5 yrs (when I was in my mid 20’s). And now, my humour has diminished. I even have difficulty getting jokes. But when I spend time with my daughter, my old self, my true self, comes out. I know it’s my true self because I feel lighter and breath easier. Sounds odd but you can never know yourself unless you note the differences in others. 💕

CybernetikSuccubus :

I feel the same. Like I have permanent imposter syndrome. The way I grew up my parents didn't like / love or care about me so instead of learning how to be, I learned how not to be. Not to take up space, not to say the thing, not to do the thing. I never take a risk or try new things because I always think I'm going to fail. I never had anyone who believed in me or taught me to believe in myself. Now that I'm an adult, it's so hard to do things differently. To go against everything I know about how to be..me.

Mr. Mustard™️ :

this is somewhat how I feel with bpd, sometimes I don't know what my personality is. how I act around others is usually based on how the vibe is. I know what I like, I know what I enjoy, but does that make me, me? sometimes I like to go back to shows, movies, games, activities I liked as a kid and go from there. sometimes I dive into something new and think "does this fit me? is this really for me?"

Nat Nickerson 🇨🇦 :

No, it's not just the pieces that you responded well to and think that other will respond well to. Self is what you are when there's no one around, when you're not trying to perform / to elicit a reaction / to reach a goal. This is my first time seeing you, but from this short video and hearing your thoughts, I can already tell you absolutely do have personality. You just have to meet and get to know him better. Highly recommend lots of outdoor time on your own. Frequent (at least 2x/wk) solo hikes with no music is what helped me get to know myself initially after an existential crisis last year, and it's still the main way I keep up with myself and the development I'm currently experiencing. Solitude in nature. 🌲🪵🌾🪾🪨

aitchtrips 🇨🇦 :

Questioning yourself like this is evidence of an individual personality

heather2020_20 :

Personality is different than behaviours, which I think you are referring to. I recommend reading Susan Caines books on Introversion. It was a game changer for me to embrace my quieter traits.

spacegirlsparkle :

Thank you for doing this work 🏆

Aggressive Hog :

Kristen Cloutier :

♥ Yes - we are the fridge and we choose the magnets we attach to it ♥️

Cailleann Phoenix :

I struggled with that question, after a breakdown and i had to find myself after that. So here is my answer: When you were young, and your experiences were so dark, you had to put your feelings away to be able to survive certain Situations and you had no save haven or stability, children start to dissociate.. disconnect from their feelings. That actually works well and makes it possible for people to survive trauma.. But when you are older.. the feelings that were burried want to be heard and need to be seen. So life can sometimes be turned upside down..you can get emotionally and physically sick.. If you keep pushing the real you, within you, away for longer.. it results in that. So how to get back to that child, that was hurt.. Because thats what you need to do: reconnect with your past and beeing a child. Try to go through the memories.. Try to to meditations where you imagine meeting your inner child.. you need to treat this child with love, care and respect. In the daily life, you need to start to stop yourself in between. Analyse.. what do i feel? Do i feel something? What would i actually like to do? What is something, that feels good for me? If you are able to find out, what is good for yourself, DO IT! Write down your thoughts.. if noone is there. It helped me. Be good to yourself. You deserve a chance to be happy and the only Person who can open that door, is YOU.

Natalie: Chicken Palace Garden :

Every person has a personality. Don't worry...you definitely have your own personality. The feeling you have that you may not have a personality probably stems from elements within you such as social anxiety, low self esteem, being reserved. You may feel a fear of truly expressing yourself outwardly, thinking of picking personality qualities from others may feel like a safe way to interact with others...and i think that ultimately comes from a fundamental insecurity. You won't ever truly be happy until you can be your authentic self and that will come if you can reflect on that insecurity within you and start working on facing it so that you can free yourself of the cage it has imprisoned you in. We are social creatures, so of course we mirror certain behaviours but at the core is a unique self. You are unique and you don't have to be perfect. You have to give yourself permission to be imperfect and be you.You have your own thoughts, traits, behaviours. You are unique, you just need the courage to let yourself be you.🥰

peachesandplumsmthrfckr :

yes. that's what self is. we are all a mosaic of past people we encounter. we collect the pieces we like and distance what we don't like from ourselves. it's our compass that selects preferences of which things to keep and which not to (what quirky sayings you'll adopt, what mannerisms you think are cute and mirror, what qualities you never want to become)- these are all personal preference. the other people who encounter that exact person CHOOSE to adopt other things into their collection because they don't think the same things as you are quirky or funny or cute. so that fundamentally proves you have your own individual compass. that's self. all art is inspired by other art and preexisting things; things don't just bloom in complete originality, but choosing what things move you is the unique part. and what direction you take things to compose it all together in a cohesive way.

randomhuman_bln :

i’m living this. you worded it perfectly

Seraphim :

It’s exhausting constantly trying to not be offputting