@lesliewellsconnectcoach: The foundation of any healthy relationship should be safety. Major ruptures like lying, not showing up in crisis, infidelity, or threatening to leave the relationship can completely destroy someone’s basic sense of self even beyond the relationship. If safety isn’t present in a relationship for both partners, there will be pain and the relationship will be determined based on self-protective measures rather than an openness for connection and intimacy. If you are a highly reactive and emotional fearful avoidant you will bever get the intimacy you desire, because you aren’t providing safety for your dismissive avoidant. If you are a clingy, needy, anxious preoccupied wanting to spend 24/7 with your dismissive avoidant you feel unsafe to then because uou threaten their core needs in a relationship. If you are a dismissive avoidant who refuses to repair after conflict, you aren’t trustworthy or safe to your AP or FA partner. Healing your insecure attachment style is in essence becoming safer for your partner so yiu have a shot at gaining the intimacy you desire. You aren’t fully responsible for their safety-they must also work to find that within and work to create a healthy baseline of safety within their own nervous system. However you have to really question yiur own compassion if you don’t desire to be a safe place for those you claim to love. Safety should be a foundational goal to strive to provide to any person you care for. #relationshipcoach #attachment #attachmentstyle #avoidantattachmentstyle #trendingtiktok

Leslie Wells Connection Coach

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Wednesday 14 January 2026 15:11:38 GMT