@amir.alashmal: تمضي السنين وانا قلبي حزين .

Amir Alashmal
Amir Alashmal
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Friday 30 January 2026 07:24:02 GMT
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user5799257132997
محمود الوادى :
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2026-01-30 08:34:34
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saad Omran 𓆲 :
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2026-01-30 09:00:00
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ayman_obaid63
أيمن عبيد :
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2026-01-30 09:59:52
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ayman_obaid63
أيمن عبيد :
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2026-01-30 10:00:08
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ayman_obaid63
أيمن عبيد :
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2026-01-30 10:00:24
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m2gddyyfrt8
منير :
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2026-01-30 12:32:12
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7983260026356adam
ابو ادم :
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2026-02-05 06:54:40
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Abduoo Al khayari :
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2026-02-11 14:59:54
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2026-01-30 07:33:29
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عظيم الجرح :
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2026-01-31 16:14:56
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Morees 🤍ميرو :
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2026-02-02 12:02:19
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2026-04-11 09:03:51
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ok hi im getting the final part of my first post done now because i feel like tearing my guts out so i think it kinda started by the start of 2026 really, when my two younger siblings came over, both of which i despise and nearly never get any punishment as bad as i do, with both of them going out of their way to annoy me and treat everything like they own it. ofc my mom didnt care for what i had to say because
ok hi im getting the final part of my first post done now because i feel like tearing my guts out so i think it kinda started by the start of 2026 really, when my two younger siblings came over, both of which i despise and nearly never get any punishment as bad as i do, with both of them going out of their way to annoy me and treat everything like they own it. ofc my mom didnt care for what i had to say because "youre being rude" and she wouldve probably hit me if I actually said how i felt about my siblings. she actively knows how much i dont like my siblings, yet, by the start of summer, she forces me to go all the way to where they live when they left my home out of ny. ofc all i had were the clothes on my body and the few portable electronics i had, still feeling terrible due to the whole computer i got for christmas thing blowing on me. and thus, i spent the whole summer forced to be with the people i didnt like the most, summer birthday btw, and best part to that is how absolutely little i got for that day, it doesnt even feel like i got much from my own mom. and because i was somewhere completely different i couldnt even do the stuff id love for my birthday, i didnt do anything enjoyable offline that day, and that probably also tracks for the entirety of that summer, i didnt even get shit when i went back home all i got were some balloons and a big load of fuckall from my mom ofc. so essentially, my summer got wasted because my mom wanted to be a dick, and btw they were supposed to get me a new computer back in like august too they didnt even try, and even to this day despite it being fucking NOVEMBER NOW i still have FUCKING NOTHINGok uh now onto probably near my breaking point. i cant remember the exact day but it was definitely sometime in october but i think due to having a terrible start to my school year, plus some relationship issues, plus me feeling like i cant have anything, plus not feeling like my own family cared for me at the time especially my mom, yeah blah blah i had a full complete mental breakdown. afterwards i came to the conclusion that nothing mattered anymore, nothing would get better, nobody would care to help me, and ultimately nothing mattered in the end besides my online life. this put me in a state of mental anguish, i didnt have a mental breakdown for the entire month after that and i didnt even cry, i accepted my fate, and simply accepted the fact i was at the worst point in my life to date. ok so heres the second to last event in my life that pushed me to an even worse mental state, oct 30th i believe, a halfway point card went out to all families in my school, and despite it being the halfway point of the first quarter of the entire school year, my mom still essentially told me she was ready to take away everything for a few bad grades, blah blah dont care, but what i cared about was the fact she essentially told me that all she wanted from me was for me to get a fucking TOP OF THE LINE corporate job FOR HER and money FOR HER and HELPING HER EVEYRTHING SHE WANTS ME TO BE IS JUSY FOR HER ALL SHE WANTS XROM ME IS BULLSHIT AND I DONT GET IT, fucking awful especially how distant we feel from eachother, deadass she doesnt know me at all, i dont get who she sees when she sees me but its not me. hell i fuckin confessed to her damn near a year ago i wanted to be trans and she shut that shit up in fhe most "nah maybe later" way too, looking back on it it was most likely riddled with fucking excuses too oh my fucking god, combined with everything she does to make me into someone completely different is just bullshit, i genuinely dont think she cares for who I actually am and i hate that with so much of myself, more than what she could possibly understand. last minor event whatever a few days after her birthday she gets all pissy i did the bare minimum and said happy birthday (pushing 40 btw) when all shes done for me is also just the bare minimum, i dont fucking understand ANYTHING she does. ok bye n

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