@sue.barries: I believe real intimacy is only possible when two people meet whole; not hungry. Before my wife Ash, I couldn't set boundaries because I was terrified people would leave me. I couldn't be vulnerable because closeness felt unsafe. I kept falling into love hoping it would somehow fix me. And because I wanted to be saved so badly, I handed over my sense of safety, worth, and stability to my partners. I lived at the effect of their moods and feelings making it mean everything about me. I looked to them to rescue me. I looked to them to make me feel safe because I didn't know how to be it on my own. That's when love stopped being a choice for me and became a survival strategy. I had to unlearn those habits cause they were not workable in the context of relationships. My wife is my mirror. I chose her because I learned how to choose myself. When I stopped dating from fear, I found someone emotionally grounded, emotionally intelligent, emotionally safe

Sue Barries

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Monday 02 February 2026 14:39:19 GMT