@chronicallykat_xo: 13 years of tears, pain, exhaustion, heartache, and fading dreams. All the days feel like they've blurred into one. I was once a blissfully unaware 21-year-old, terrified the very first time it happened - hospitalised on and off for weeks, begging for the pain to go away, not knowing what was happening until scans showed multiple herniations in my lower spine. Nobody understood at the time. It was just “back pain,” they thought, like I’d slept funny. But it wasn’t just back pain. It was searing pain all down my spine, radiating into my legs, with referred pain in my stomach. It was nausea, vomiting, and a total loss of mobility. As I got older and these "episodes" kept occurring, I realised these were flare-ups. They would put me out of work for weeks at a time, and there was nothing I could do but sleep through the hellishly strong painkillers and wait for it to calm down enough to return to work. Over the years, these flare-ups evolved. I had been building a career and thought I could adapt - take time off when I had to, work when I could. Most flare-ups were manageable from home. But around 2019, there was a shift in the frequency and intensity. By October 2020, I had a flare-up so severe I was hospitalised. Something was different this time, and deep down, I knew I could no longer go through the cycle, although I had planned to. I came home, and a few days later, my husband sat me down and said, “It’s time to stop, Kat. You need to stop now before this ends up finishing you.” I knew he was right, but I was heartbroken. I had always loved work - I worked the minute I finished school. I was a grafter. I didn’t get out of bed for three months; I couldn’t face it. That was five years ago, and I’ve never bounced back. Since then, I’ve been to multiple GP appointments, hospital admissions/appointments, had countless scans, endless blood tests, and tried almost every painkiller along the way. I’ve tried everything from walking to swimming, chiropractors, physiotherapy, Pain Management Programme and nothing has worked. I fell into a deep depression, my weight ballooned, and I’ve spent almost five years in the same position… in bed, where I’m the most comfortable, because it’s the only place I feel even a little relief. I’ve been dismissed many times, had my weight used as a scapegoat to cover the root issue, and diagnosed with more chronic illnesses along the way. My blood tests are poor, and honestly, the more weight I’ve lost, the more pain I’m in. Symptoms have evolved. My mobility is affected, my cervical spine is degenerating alongside my lumbar spine, causing shoulder and neck pain. I have no feeling at all on my outer thighs bilaterally - they are completely numb. My bladder is affected to the point of retention or incontinence. I constantly struggle with UTIs, and the pain in my lower back is devastating. It has never been “just” back pain. It’s all the symptoms that come with it, the emotional and mental toll, the sleepless nights, the long days. It’s how it affects relationships and friendships, watching loved ones feel helpless, checking accessibility every time I go out, and wondering who will judge me if I do. It’s the constant “what ifs” and fearing this is what the next 50 years will be like. Chronic pain, chronic illness, and grief go hand in hand. It’s not one-size-fits-all, and there needs to be more care, attention, and education on how devastating it can be. ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹 #chronicpain #spooniesofTikTok #chronicillnesscommunity #chronicpainlife #chronicpainsucks

Kat McMinimee 🌷♿🌻🩵

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Region: GB

Thursday 12 February 2026 07:01:04 GMT