1. Being selfless, Compromise is healthy,but sacrificing your whole life because of this new tittle is not,find an equilibrium where the both of you can exist as individuals and as a team. 2. Acting like the man of the household,The more you step up,the more he steps back,stop filling in his shoes,let him provide,let him pay bills,let him pursue you,let him take lead,Allow him to be The Man!! 3. Being shy of who you truly are, a wife should,a wife this a wife that,all over sudden you are the quiet one,you no longer speak your mind,you now dress a certain way,you changed your hair to fit into a chama,your social club just changed because he said so, If he is intimidated by your intelligence or how beautifully short tight clothes have you looking mwaaah,that's his problem, Be YOU unapologetically! 4. Playing Mommy.....You are not his mother!! you clean after him,you force him to go to church,you constantly remind him of what needs to be done, pushing him to grow,just stop,if he wants to he will and before he had you he used to run his own life,right so let him decide. Looking back you will realize these things drain your energy instead. from the word go he knows,now that I have a wife or even family I gotta do this for them,these things need sorting by this date,but you are there smothering him,he don't need that. 5. Avoiding conflict,here I know most of us are guilty,because when I ask or confront him,he shuts down or we urgue I would rather let it slide,eeeh,after that does it bring peace really,you find yourself anxious instead,sema ikutoke,kama ni kesi let it be, you'll realize how letting it out gives you a sense of freedom. 6. Being fully dependent of him financially,kaa home I'll provide,that's okay mama, if you are enjoying it, do as you please but the truth is being completely dependent on a man can create an unhealthy power dynamic, sooner or later they will use that to control you. 7. Putting your dreams on hold, do these because you want to,bear that child,take care of them and get back to business do not listen to the famous words,my child cannot grow up with a nanny, let's have kids back to back tumalizane,let's use money to advance my education coz am the bread winner,uliskia wapi my guy, your man if anything should cheer you on not delay your success. 8. Isolation, now that you are a wife,you cut off your friends,go out only when your husband is,your social life is now dictated by his,always at home doing the most usirudishwe kwenyu😂. Marriage adds to your life not replace it. Maintain your friends,have your own connections and even a support system. 9. Giving in to uncomfortable intimacy,woman,your body your rules, ati your husband raped you,manipulated you, makes you feel boring in bed,that's his problem don't break your back trying to meet his unrealistic expectations from an 18 yr old side chick or experienced hooker!! 10. Letting society standards get in your head, before you were wife,you were you,there are things you love doing,food you love eating and places you love to go,the way you dress,laugh,talk,walk,that's who you are,don't let the 'societal norms' about how a married woman should live change who you are,Kuna vitu zimepitwa na wakati. NB : Don't pray for him to change,stop fasting coz he cheats or is an alcoholic,channel that energy elsewhere!!! #foryou #foryoupage #fyp #MentalHealth #genz - @nyina_wa_kamau