@annsvan: I am 43 years old now. And I don’t want to build a life that feels heavy anymore. I spent 16 years in LA decorating beautiful apartments that were never actually mine. Then I lived in a van… not because it was trendy, but because I had to. Then I healed from an injury in my mom’s attic. Every version of my life taught me something. But this last year? It taught me the hardest lesson. I let myself fall in love. Deeply. And somewhere along the way… I made that relationship my whole world. I disappeared. I lost myself a little. Not because anyone asked me to. But because I thought choosing love meant merging completely. I thought building a future meant attaching myself to someone else’s. And I’m realizing now… I don’t want a life built around someone else’s gravity. I want my own. That doesn’t mean I don’t believe in love. It means I don’t want to abandon myself inside it. I started the new year by renting a Sprinter van through @outdoorsy and started driving. Not to run. Not to recreate van life. But to hear myself again. Somewhere between Pendleton and Hood River… I realized this isn’t about a boyfriend. It’s not about a mortgage. It’s not about proving anything. It’s about peace. I don’t want a mortgage that decides how hard I have to work. I don’t want to disappear inside love. I don’t want to build something that traps me. I want forest mornings. Ownership without suffocation. Partnership without dependency. A home that feels intentional. And what I’m about to do next… isn’t what most people are guessing. If you’re ever road tripping and want flexibility without the chaos, I used @Outdoorsy is ANNIE10 #yearofthehorse #vanlife #startingover

Annie

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Friday 20 February 2026 00:18:40 GMT