rie. :
Hi love, I miss you. Not just you, but the old you. The version of you who was afraid to lose me. The one who held on tighter when things got shaky, who checked in just to hear my voice, who made me feel like I was something worth keeping. Somewhere along the way, that fear disappeared. And with it, you changed. I keep wondering when you stopped worrying about losing me, because that’s when I started feeling like I already had.
I miss our laughter, the kind that didn’t need a reason. The stupid jokes, the way we’d laugh until our stomachs hurt and we couldn’t breathe. I miss the excitement I felt whenever we were about to meet, that rush in my chest knowing I’d get to see you, touch you, exist in the same space as you. The world could wait, because for a few hours, I had you. Now even when you’re here, I don’t feel that excitement anymore. I feel the distance.
I miss the love and care in your eyes. You used to look at me like I was your peace. Like even on your worst days, I was the good part. I remember how you’d make time for me even when you were busy — stealing minutes just to text, calling me on your breaks, reminding me that I mattered no matter how full your day was. That’s what made me feel safe. That’s what made me believe in us.
I don’t feel that anymore. The looks are shorter. The time is rarer. The effort feels like something you have to remember, not something you need to give. And it hurts because I know what it’s like to be loved by you. I have the memories, and they play on repeat every night — all the promises, all the “I won’t let you go,” all the nights you held me like you were scared I’d disappear. Where did that man go?
I still love you. Even like this. Even with the ache of missing someone who's still right in front of me. But loving you now means mourning the version of you that was afraid to lose me. If ever you find your way back to me, I hope you know I still loved you. And if you don't, I'll have to learn how to let go. Slowly. Painfully. Because I never wanted to say goodbye to you, instead all i ever want to say is i love you, only you...
I hope everything will be back the way it was before.
2026-04-26 15:47:39