Ayla :
I’m pretty sure I have OCD, but I can’t be diagnosed yet, sadly. I couldn’t figure out if it was OCD or anxiety for a while because I only relate to certain parts of OCD, and sometimes my brain also tells me that I’m lying for attention when I talk to people about it. But I learned recently that’s actually a part of OCD too. I think one of the worst parts I’ve experienced has been tics, and as a kid when people would notice they would sometimes ask if I have Tourette’s, so for a while I thought I might lol. But it’s definitely not as extreme as what I’ve heard about Tourette’s, and I’ve never actually had to say anything. I’ve had to do very strange things, though one of them was making embarrassing sounds, and another was popping my neck a lot. For me I think I only get them to feel even, similar to how if I scratch one arm, I have to scratch the other sometimes, but it’s really intense. My mom always told me to just try not to do it, but I will keep thinking about doing it until I’m not focused, and then I do whatever it was by accident. I’ve also always had things like thinking that if I don’t make wishes at certain times, like 11:11, my family will die or I won’t go to heaven things like that. I always have to say a really long wish, and if I add onto the wish, I have to say it every time. I thought this was normal for a long time, but I’m realizing it’s definitely not. I can’t really stop though, or I’ll have very bad anxiety. I also have pretty bad contamination OCD. I can’t drink off the same things as people, and sometimes I’ll hold my breath for a long time after people cough. If I start thinking someone might be sick, I’ll get anxious. I also have health anxiety, and I’ll think that if I talk about things, I might jinx it too. Like, I was about to type some health anxiety I’ve had, but then I thought I’d probably have anxiety about that lol. I have checking OCD sometimes too. I’ve noticed all of my symptoms get worse when I think about it, or if I’m already having anxiety about something else, or if my brother who has similar symptoms triggers it. He used to get tics too, and sometimes that reminded me of mine. They definitely used to be worse.
2026-03-18 10:49:28