@bayavoce: The moment a conversation gets uncomfortable they either shut down or blow up and suddenly you're wondering if you're asking for too much just by bringing something up. When someone gets angry fast it's usually not about the topic, it's about how quickly they feel overwhelmed. So your job isn't to convince them they're overreacting, it's to keep the conversation from exploding before you even get to say what you need. Start by slowing yourself down first. Feet on the floor, longer exhale because when you speed up they'll match it. Lead with containment not content. Instead of you always get defensive try is now a good time to talk about something? If they snap back don't argue the facts, just anchor. I'm talking about how this landed for me. And if it starts tipping say I need to pause, I'm getting rattled and then stop explaining. Once someone gets loud it stops being about connection and starts being about damage control. Now you're managing their reaction instead of expressing your need. #relationships #conflict #boundaries
