@sashablossom: I sometimes feel uneasy about how the phrase “nervous system regulation” is being used. Especially online The concept itself is important to discuss, but somewhere along the way it’s been flattened, commodified… and at times, weaponised. To sell 'calm' as a product. To imply that if you’re not consistently centred, soft & serene… you’re doing something wrong. But that’s the thing. A regulated nervous system is not a permanently calm one. It’s not a system that never spikes or shakes or breaks open. A regulated nervous system is one that responds appropriately to its environment. It mobilises when something requires it to. It feels. It reacts. It protects. And then, crucially, it knows how to come back. To safety. To baseline. To Self. Let me be clear: regulation is notttt the absence of intensity. It’s the capacity to move through intensity without getting stuck there. It’s weeping when you need to weep and allowing sacred rage when a boundary has been crossed. It’s joy that bubbles over into dancing, laughter, aliveness. Its grief that feels like it's allowed to be felt. And imprtnaly, beneath all of that, there’s a knowing: I can return. I won’t be here forever You are meant to have a range. Everything in nature does. Especially if you live in a body that cycles - monthly, hormonally, emotionally. To expect sameness from something designed for ebb & flow is not only unrealistic… it’s deeply misinformed And when we start measuring ourselves against that standard, regulation becomes another place we feel we’re failing. Another canvas for shame So what, then, is dysregulation? Dysregulation is when the system loses its sense of proportion or resolution. It’s when: the response is far bigger than the moment in front of you or it lingers long after the threat has passed or it feels impossible to come back from It’s getting stuck in activation (anxiety, urgency, overwhelm) or collapse (numbness, shutdown, disconnection) without a clear pathway home to yourself Often bc your system has learned through repeated experience that it needs to stay there to keep you safe Regulation is something you build a relationship with. Gently, patiently, gradually. In your own time. And that doesn't happen by forcing yourself into cal. In fact, forced calm can create dysregualtion. Regulation it happens by slowly creating enough safety, internally & externally, that your system no longer feels the need to stay on high alert And that’s a very different kind of work - - #nervoussystemregulation #shame #nervoussystem #unpopularopinion #healing

Sasha Blossom

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Wednesday 25 March 2026 13:55:28 GMT