gomitas :
My life has become a pit of eating a lot or not eating at all for days and hours. A pit where I feel disgusting and inadequate, ugly and fat, where I feel like a damn burden, unmotivated, with no point in anything. It's either dirty or clean; if I clean it, what's the point? It'll get dirty again soon. The dust never ends. Food disgusts me, I disgust myself. I'm weak and sick. Every day thinner, every day sicker, every day more tired, pain that makes me dizzy and leaves me breathless. I clean my house with dirty rags from years ago, knowing I'm only making it dirtier, but I'm simply too tired to clean it properly. I do everything on autopilot, everything quickly, but I never learn anything. I only do it to convince myself I'm doing something right, that I'll get a good grade, a good feeling for a moment, only to realize in the end that I don't retain anything, I don't learn anything, I don't remember anything.
2026-05-29 22:12:38