Sam Gardner
Region: GB
Sunday 29 March 2026 19:09:44 GMT
8508
549
89
34
Music
Download
Comments
Kista53 :
It's not always that straightforward, the principle is correct and should be aimed for, but it is not always in the best interest of the children. As Foster carers we had a set of 3 siblings placed with us on an emergency placement after two long term placement breakdowns in a year. We were asked to feed into a report regarding whether the children should split up, and unfortunately we had to recommend that the youngest be separated as his needs were a lot higher and his behaviours were detrimental to the placement and adversely affecting the older children. The problem with blanket rulings like this is that it sometimes goes against common sense, because in the end a judge who has no knowledge of the individuals dictates that the children should stay together as per the law and this ends up overriding common sense and needs of the children.
2026-03-30 10:09:22
15
L🧚🏻 :
As a social worker I fundamentally disagree with the concept of together or apart assessments. We would never split siblings up if they were with birth family so why do we do it in foster care? Unless there is a really specific and significant risk which is causing harm to some or all of the children
2026-03-29 21:34:08
26
CoachCelsie | health coach 🍉 :
I'm at a loss and hope that you could give me some insight from your lived experience. I'm on my journey of adopting a child (only 4 months in, so very early stages). I am not adopting because I can't get pregnant, I'm adopting because I want to adopt. because I've always thought that's the best thing to do for the child. I'm now questioning whether it is or not. I'll be taking a child away from their foster family, probably the only safe family they've known. I'm looking at school age rather than little so I'm aware that they've already lived life, already lived through trauma, and there is not a possibility I will create more trauma and grief. is adoption the right thing for the child? I've already said I will not take a child with a sibling as I have a son already, and don't want to split siblings up 🩷
2026-03-29 21:03:21
5
Em | 📚 :
People often use the reasoning of parentified older siblings but having experienced this is a carer, you do have the power to stop this and let them be kids but it’s hard work and takes a lot of consistency. (There are cases where this doesn’t work or isn’t safe for siblings to be together but I think a lot of hard work should be tried before separation)
2026-03-30 07:20:01
4
Georgina RobertsTilly roberts :
so cruel
2026-03-31 16:31:47
1
Adelphi - Adulting, Together :
Such a great law. Unless you’ve been through it, you won’t ever know the impact it has. Love, the eldest daughter 💚
2026-03-29 19:16:14
9
Lee Davies :
they argue the older sibling becomes a parent & its unfair but thats down to us as foster carers to un pick & yes its a challenge but its worth it. my eldest was like a parent its taken years to unpick this and even now he defaults to parent but I address it, stop it, explain it, I advocated they stay together too as there was a discussion to put them up for adoption, I said no they are bonded to family, us and each other, 6 years on they are siblings that thrive
2026-03-30 13:04:51
1
kerryclarkson7 :
They 💯 percent should never split children up
2026-03-30 21:03:01
3
Jojo :
This happened to me I went into care with my brother within the first year we was separated and then a few years later he was adopted then I wasn't allowed to see him again I only was allowed letterbox contact it was heart breaking
2026-03-30 13:22:35
1
Freddie_south :
When i worked in a children in care team i was so shocked at the amount of children that have very little and no contact with their siblings and nothing was done about it. I think its a great thing x
2026-03-30 18:49:32
1
bluesadvenchers🐾🐕 :
Same my brothers got adopted out
2026-06-26 16:14:07
1
erica :
im one of 4 and got seperated a lot now we are more dysfunctional 🥺
2026-03-29 21:06:57
2
Mel ❤️ WasAcarekid/careleaver :
broke my heart ❤️
2026-03-30 09:10:20
1
Philomena848 :
Very late ❤️
2026-03-29 20:40:12
1
Mummy memories :
Sometimes its needed but with lots of joint fun child based contact. We love meeting up and having fun where ever possible
2026-03-30 12:09:40
2
Lorraine Collins :
I was able to SGO the youngest of 4siblings so I kept the together best thing I’ve ever done
2026-03-29 19:47:42
1
hitthediff5 :
Totally agree
2026-03-29 20:43:43
1
CP :
Former foster carer, not everyone can take on multiple children and the lack of social work support made me stop. Others that had a house of 5 foster children were running like a business and ran a tight ship, I got my eyes opened.
2026-03-29 19:38:25
1
Donna-marie🏳️🌈 :
this is one thing that breaks my heart. Unfortunately keeping siblings together is difficult particularly in large sibling groups. I do my upmost to arrange extra sibling time outside of normal contact times for that reason. Sibling relationships are so very important
2026-03-29 19:56:29
2
ak :
When I was first put into foster care my siblings and I were together, me my brother and sister. A month or two into our first placement my brother was removed, since then he has had the worst time in the system. 4 foster families and 3 residential units, now he’s in assisted lodging but I can’t imagine how hard it was for him
2026-03-29 19:20:24
2
🕷️ Topaz :
I'm a permanent f/c to 2 sibling girls. They have an older brother with another f/c. They were separated from their brother when they were babies/toddlers. Keeping them together in an ideal world would've been the best scenario. We've kept sibling contact regular for over 10 years now. The truth is the kids love to get together however after a couple of hours it's extremely difficult. I do feel in our case it would likely not have worked out to keep the 3 together. Their needs and behaviours are to intense. It's so sad though and a huge part of me agrees they should stay together but certain individual cases then it may not be the right thing sadly.
2026-03-30 11:44:20
1
sonia dickinson :
As a fostercarer ,I havehad siblings split ,always with good reason .There are cases where it needs to happen ,in the best interest of the children.I do agree they should always have family time with each other ,we encourage and have accommodated organising family time.
2026-03-30 12:45:08
1
fosteringafortune :
I totally agree with this new law that keeps siblings together but the government needs to find inventive ways to allow this to happen. As a single carer I would happily take on a family group of 3-4 kids but don’t have the space for this under current guidelines and can’t afford to rent a house big enough. 😢😢
2026-03-29 20:00:12
1
Geeliscious :
Not all foster carers have enough spare bedrooms, I only have one spare room, I hate it when siblings are separated 🥺
2026-03-29 19:24:04
1
trixie :
I totally agree with you. The trouble is were only allowed to have three children and if we have two children in placement and siblings come quite often they’ll only let you have one of them.🥰 Even though you’re happy to have both. We need to start letting foster carers who have a capacity and capability to have four children., under very special circumstances i.e. they have two children in placement but there is a family of three if they feel they can take their children then we need to wrap around them and help the foster carer support the three children that are siblings and the two children that are with you already, but I do believe we should definitely have the law changed that foster carers can have four children in placement. Open Doors for sibling families totally agree with you. And I agree if there is a sibling that is 17+ that’s wrapped round them and help them look after their siblings. There are so many things we could do and change. We really need to shuffle and give it a shake up.🥰
2026-03-29 20:47:55
0
To see more videos from user @lessonsfromcare, please go to the Tikwm
homepage.
