@therapyjeff: We need to talk about privacy versus secrecy. #MentalHealth #therapy #relationshiptips #datingadvice

TherapyJeff
TherapyJeff
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Friday 03 April 2026 13:28:09 GMT
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caedereme
Caedere :
i think a good general rule of thumb is: if it could make your partner rethink the relationship they should know about it
2026-04-03 13:41:30
443
sc0nesandc0ffee
sconesandcoffee :
I’ll give a personal example. Private - your relationship, inner world. Secret - purposely never taking me to places he goes so people don’t know he has a girlfriend so he can act single. (I left four months ago.)
2026-04-03 13:59:47
274
quoth_the_raven447
raven :
salary isnt private once youre engaged btw
2026-04-03 14:26:32
35
neonjstar
NeonJ :
Nah, anything you want to be private can be private. You don’t owe anyone anything.
2026-04-03 16:45:01
1
jennifer_lou_
Jennifer Lou :
Exactly this! Secrecy means people can’t give informed consent to the dynamic/relationship/aspects of the relationship.
2026-04-03 13:46:48
80
jemulcrone
Jemulcrone :
Are you talking specifically about early on in relationships? I can’t imagine you think salaries and savings should be private when you’re like, talking about getting engaged.
2026-04-03 14:13:24
46
f_mycharmedlife
Woodja Flanigan, Ph.D. :
I tell me clients that secrecy is something that you don't want known because it might rupture the relationship.
2026-04-03 14:53:43
44
steezus.christ420
Wapenheimer :
Informed consent
2026-04-04 03:42:11
7
alrongthegreat
gluckstein :
why would your salary and savings be private in a serious relationship? and when would this start becoming needed info? i think in a marriage these would definately be secrets of not shared or lied about
2026-04-04 03:12:46
1
livingmyonlylifenow
Mary :
This is an excellent video. Thank you.
2026-04-05 21:15:52
5
teddyboosweetie
MyGuardianAngel :
If it affects the other person and their life. You gotta tell them!
2026-04-04 14:16:21
4
asyd_
A :
in the part about "being already checked out" what do you mean precisely? isn't there a difference between "I know I don't see my future with you anymore but I'll keep you around until I find someone else" and "I don't know if I see my future with you anymore and I'm trying to understand"
2026-04-03 13:46:17
5
getbehindthebrand
Behind the Brand | 🎧 :
Nailed it. Again. 💯
2026-04-03 19:38:38
5
monikanobody
Mon :
Thank you for your service therapy Jeff 🫡
2026-04-03 20:51:11
5
vaane2026
Vane🪿(en español) :
I don’t have a perfect man but I do have an honest one and that is value
2026-04-06 16:14:10
4
whatpeppersaid
whatpeppersaid :
me asking my ex what his wedding ring tattoo was and he said "idk" at that point he told me he had an ex gf. he had an ex wife he was actively divorcing
2026-04-03 13:56:29
17
mywayplease
My Way :
Can you discuss this from the flip side? How to determine if what I want to know/ask is private or secret? And when to frame their hesitation when asked as a valid privacy-protecting boundary that I should apologize for crossing or a secrecy-protecting barrier to the relationship I shouldn’t.
2026-04-03 14:16:15
17
haspanelli
Haspanelli :
I hear you, Jeff, and am happy to not have violated any of these examples.
2026-04-03 16:42:52
1
salty.scot
A Salty Scotsman ❌️ :
Privacy is the text convo she has with her bestie about random things through the day. Secrecy is the text convo she has with the guy who is "just a friend" where she shares how she feels about her relationship with you, and allows him to share how he'd treat her "if" they were together.
2026-04-03 14:35:12
6
isekaimepls
IsekaiMePls🌎 :
thank you for posting
2026-04-05 22:26:43
4
mochimochirod
Mochimochi :
if my girlfriend is a really private person and tells me things but doesn't like other people to know (which I respect and understand) but how can I ask for advice to friends without breaking that privacy? I felt isolated and without enough relationship experience to just deal with it personally on a void 😔
2026-04-05 19:54:55
1
mobeancounter
Mobeancounter :
So good!!!
2026-04-04 04:22:14
2
buyyourside
Buyyourside :
In real estate we call this ‘material fact’ : something, if known to the buyer, could change their decision to buy
2026-04-04 04:50:28
4
montyninetynine
Monty99 :
Making a choice is something you can’t do without enough information.
2026-04-04 10:36:32
2
shaylucero13
Tarra Lucero :
THANK YOU!
2026-04-05 22:17:02
1
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