@drjulie: 👉 Can you relate? 👀 That last one is so common! So many of the things we do without even thinking about it are a form of safety behaviour. A way to avoid the discomfort of social interaction. Doing these things does NOT mean you have any kind of diagnosable social phobia. But they are things to look out for, as they could be holding you back from connecting with people in the way you want to. Overthinking every conversation, replaying what you said for hours, avoiding texts, cancelling plans last minute, or feeling exhausted after socialising. All signs that interactions feel anxiety provoking. When we don’t feel entirely comfortable, avoidance makes sense in the moment — it reduces anxiety quickly. But that short-term relief teaches your brain that social situations are “dangerous,” which keeps the anxiety cycle going. The more you avoid, the more unfamiliar (and overwhelming) things feel. In therapy, this is tackled with graded exposure. Slowly and intentionally facing situations you’d usually avoid, starting small and building up. The more often you do the thing that makes you anxious, the quicker it starts to feel more like a comfortable zone. It teaches your nervous system: “This is safe. I can handle this.” 👉 For a full guide on how to tackle anxiety, I break everything down in my multi million-copy bestseller ‘Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before?’ And my New York Times bestseller, ‘Open When…’ both show you how to use the tools needed and guide you through on the days you need it most.

Dr Julie | Psychologist

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Saturday 04 April 2026 15:13:33 GMT