@youurrh.muuthaaa: It wasn’t love that failed us— it was the silence you chose to keep. It was at the pit of the darkness of my own home where the walls knew more of me than you ever tried to, that I finally opened my eyes— not in anger, but in a quiet, aching clarity. Because loving you was never the mistake. Losing myself trying to soften the sharp edges of your solitude, trying to reshape my voice so it wouldn’t hurt your ears, so it would reach your heart— that’s where I disappeared. I prayed more than I spoke, hoped more than I was held, searched your eyes for the man you kept abandoning within yourself. You said I made you the problem. But I was only trying to understand what haunted you so deeply you mistook love for pressure and care for control. And when you said you could turn your love on and off like a switch— that I should try not to care— that’s when something in me broke in a way that finally made sense. Because I couldn’t. I couldn’t unlove you in silence the way you did me. I couldn’t sit through days, weeks, months of absence and call it peace. Every “are you okay?” wasn’t me begging to be chosen— it was me watching you fade, watching you lose pieces of yourself and thinking if I loved you enough maybe you’d stay. You thought I was controlling you, but I was standing at the edge of your mind’s prison reaching in, begging you to come back to yourself. I saw you. Even when you refused to look at your own reflection. And there were so many things I wanted to share— like a little girl holding a growing list of dreams in her hands, each one whispering “one day we’ll do this,” “one day we’ll go there,” “just wait until we live that moment.” I carried those “one days” like treasures in my chest, waiting for your eyes to light up with mine. But every time I turned to you— I met that distant glance, that quiet drift, that place where you disappeared while still standing right in front of me. I tried to pull you back— not for me, but for you. To keep you here, in this moment, in this life that was asking you to feel it. What I didn’t understand then was that you had already found where you felt safest— in that place where only your body remained. Where no one could see you, no one could hear you, no one could ask questions that might touch the parts of you you were trying to escape. And I know— I know it felt easier, maybe even better, than being asked if you were okay. I often wondered what happened along your journey that left you like this— loving the emptiness of emotion, finding comfort in dark skies, holding silent screams for help that weren’t meant for the world, only for the rare souls who truly cared. But how could you recognize them if you never learned what being cared for felt like? You couldn’t see that control was never what I wanted over you— only over the shadows that haunted you, that pulled you away from the man I knew you could be. But love was never meant to fight ghosts alone. And I was never meant to love someone who chose to disappear instead of stay.

Maritza🥀

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Thursday 09 April 2026 09:48:35 GMT