T :
The void inside of me keeps getting bigger. With every second that passes, the void keeps getting bigger, devouring my heart slowly. It’s slowly reaching my brain too.
Sometimes I wonder if God sees me or even knows of me. Sometimes I wonder if the void will turn into light one day or will it keep getting bigger until it kills me. Is there light at the end of the tunnel? Or is the tunnel just closed and I’m going to reach a dead end? The fake scenarios, good and bad memories between me and her, her name, her eyes, the overthinking about her, and her is what’s killing me. And the problem is that I can’t escape it. I can do nothing about it. I accepted that she never loved me and I’m nothing to her. But she is my everything, and my everything is gone now. I accepted it, but still, the void just keeps getting bigger and there is no escape.
Even in my dreams, when I socialize, when I’m alone, whenever and wherever, I can’t escape her. When will this story end? I just want an answer already. Maybe death is the only solution because I tried everything. With every cigarette I smoke, with every time I turn my face, close my eyes, go out to a place, hang out with my friends, or even when I sleep, before I sleep, during my sleep, in my dreams, and the second I wake up. I can’t escape my thoughts of her.
You are wondering what’s the void. The problem is that I don’t know, and that’s the point. That’s what’s killing me slowly. The thoughts of her and the void are devouring me slowly. I don’t know if someone understands me, but the void keeps getting bigger with every memory and moment. I search for light or even a spark inside of this curse, but there is none to be found and there is no escape.
I wasn’t happy before her, but at the same time, I wasn’t this sad. She came into my life, and I was very happy. I wanted nothing but her. And now that she left, she took my feelings, life, happiness, and everything with her. And left me with this void that’s killing me slowly.
As a final act of love, I’m going to stop chasing her, texting her, or even bothering her at all. As much as I want to.
2026-04-12 22:37:25