Codependency Kate
Region: US
Wednesday 15 April 2026 21:06:47 GMT
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Sheep55 :
It’s not avoidance, I just never formed an attachment to my parents 🤷♀️
2026-04-15 21:24:55
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Slaydi :
The kids relationship to the parent is literally the definition of avoidant attachment. It’s not an insult- their needs are valid but they learned to disconnect from themselves
2026-04-17 10:00:55
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femalemillenialcrisis :
Yea this is actually something that comes up for me a lot - “am I being avoidant?” I’ve been no-contact with my mom for 1.5 years at this point and every now and then I’ll get triggered or motivated in some way to initiate communication. And everything in my body says not to. So I wait and ultimately I don’t. And when I reflect on why my body feels this way - it’s because it knows I’ve been attempting communication with her my WHOLE LIFE. I’m no contact now because I learned that ultimately it’s impossible. Anytime I’d ever try to talk about something I feel, care about, am bothered by - it’s immediate defensiveness and deflecting and attacking and then we’re fighting and I refuse to fight anymore. If I knew she was doing the work on her end - reflecting, learning, growing - to where we could actually communicate without the fight - I’d literally do anything for that conversation. But at this point, it’s like speaking a different language and my nervous system just doesn’t deserve that any more. Thank you for your content 💜 it really matters.
2026-04-15 21:41:35
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n.i.c. :
it's important to remember, my needs have never been met. what I want is just not available to me. it's grief for the close family relationship/s that people crave and need to grow into adults. then, it's recognition of absence. it can never be avoidant behaviour because nothing is "there" to avoid. some ppl follow a hollow script and others go NC. it's the same reaction to the husk.
2026-04-15 23:54:00
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TinestTerribleTroll🇨🇦🇵🇸 :
I didn't learn that families apologised to each other instead of screaming or the silent treatment until I met my partner and his family. In less than a week after saying both of my parents were being defensive instead of communicative, they decided that they will just not talk to me.
2026-04-15 21:42:34
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oops, shadow banned :
1. I think if an adult grows up to have avoidant attachment that is on the parents for not providing an environment where secure attachment styles could form. 2. deciding I don't want to be around somebody as a direct response to abuse or their behavior isn't avoidance, it's a boundary
2026-04-16 01:56:32
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doorknob :
Definitely a response to emotional abuse or neglect from the parent I actually think its what contributes to some people having avoidant attachment in other relationships as well
2026-04-15 21:29:51
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Say Myname :
We become immune to getting attached to anyone because we know it’s not safe.
2026-04-16 00:07:18
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Allie🇨🇦 :
My parents could go months without so much as a text, and likewise for myself. In my personal relationship with my partner, I’m not what’s classified as avoidant at all - I’m the exact opposite of that.
2026-04-16 11:39:06
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Patti :
I’m 65. Estranged from mother for 35 years. Never really attached. All the things made me who I am today. I know the relationship will never be reconciled. I choose myself, my marriage, my children.
2026-04-16 13:35:14
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user583138003821 :
and if it was avoidance how did that even happen? 😉
2026-04-16 07:15:44
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🇵🇸jaseekarawr69🪷 :
I had this realization 3 years ago when I wrote my mom "the letter", confronting her for all the abuse. at the end of the letter i remember writing "I'd like a relationship with you but idek what that would look like". i realized shortly after that the reason I couldn't picture a mother-daughter relationship was bc SHE never formed one in the first place 🥹 oof. she cut the cord, disowned me when I was 12. idk if we ever had a relationship before then, either. sad. my son will never know that pain. ever.
2026-04-15 22:08:50
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Iheartthe90s :
What do you think of adult families who aren’t close because they have little in common? They kind of drifted away, especially with physical distance. Is that pseudo-mutuality?
2026-04-16 00:39:12
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Saba Riley 🦋 🍁 :
My mom used to give me the silent treatment. I just learned that the way to take power back when someone tries to withhold something you want is to stop wanting it.
2026-04-16 04:08:51
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TheHoneyandSalt :
It can be both. Also you can be both the child and the parent. It’s too much word garbles. I detached completely from both parents. I don’t need anyone to fulfill my needs. My kids may feel I’m not the best mom so they have their own reactions to my “abuse”. In the end I’m just trying to break cycles and not lose my shit.
2026-04-16 10:29:28
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Ballpeen Hammer :
the result of childhood emotional neglect is avoidant attachment. you avoid attachments because they're not important or needed for survival at that point.
2026-04-20 12:06:38
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