that you want to disappear, does that mean you're feeling overwhelmed while also feeling unseen and unheard by people in your life? maybe it's irresponsible of me, but I think that being able to drop out of yr life and take a break from being yourself out in South America or somewhere could be amazing. or it's just a nice idea that can only be dreamed about. I'm sorry that people are so frustrating, I wish that they could be more understanding and supportive of you. that's really sad to me, you having people there, but you still feel lonely because they don't get you. 🫂
and I don't want to have you feel that way about me. I apologize for hurting you by seeming fine, every day I am afraid I keep letting you down. that you're disappointed in me, that you wish I'd go away already. I don't want to be a burden, so I wouldn't tell you this. you don't need me to become an additional regret. please know that I'm never going to be ok, the guilt I feel about the damage done to you won't allow that. every day I can't believe I hurt my baby, so badly. never getting past it.
I only hope to God that you can keep finding a reason to stay, every day. i love you and you're such a special light in this world.
I selfishly can't imagine life worth living without you here, sweetness. ❤️
2026-04-17 12:39:00
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