The Pottymouth Guru
Region: CA
Saturday 18 April 2026 15:50:43 GMT
435978
53761
1266
11991
Music
Download
Comments
aiyamiilhil :
I can forgive them for their intent but their refusal to acknowledge the impact is why it remains broken
2026-04-19 01:09:58
4373
Adam :
People are not dishes. Impact matters is fair. Intent does not matter is not. Intent changes whether something was abuse, carelessness, or a misunderstanding. If only impact counts, people end up walking on eggshells and managing other adults’ emotions for them. Compassion matters, but so does self-regulation and proportion.
2026-04-21 08:18:26
79
RandomMe :
I noticed that actually. I made it clear when I apologize. I explained my intent (which is not the impact), I apologize for the impact, then work towards rectifying the impact and ensure that I am aware of the impact so I don't repeat it next time.
2026-07-07 12:00:32
0
Nathan Grieve619 :
intention only matters after recognising and apologising for the impact
2026-04-19 05:55:18
319
Megan :
"your feelings are your responsibility" - how do I even address this? it absolves the other party of all responsibility for what they say
2026-04-19 02:35:08
506
NachoGirrrl :
And intent doesn’t release you from accountability .
2026-04-23 02:18:47
9
A Beth Jones :
In a HEALTHY relationship, intent, and impact are both equally important; but neither truly matter without open compassionate communication. If you can have that type of communication with your partner, it is perfectly acceptable to explain your intent … AFTER you have validated the impact. The key is to recognize that the intent is never an EXCUSE to INVALIDATE the impact.
2026-04-19 17:44:26
157
Scott 🇨🇦 Auty Ursid :
Because people have been convinced that intent doesn't matter, they believe they can attribute whatever intent they suspect to the person without argument.
2026-04-19 15:14:39
7
blu3chip :
intention 100% matters. I will much prefer you accidentally doing bad things, than you accidentally doing good things.
2026-04-19 07:11:38
10
FloePi ✨ :
I understand your point. But reflection is not a one-way street. If you choose to constantly maintain a victim-role, if you‘re unable to understand another perspective and too, sometimes, meet at least halfway - then it’s not someone else’s fault, its a conscious (but that can be discussed too) *decision* that *you* are making for *yourself*. It’s not *anyone else’s* responsibility!
2026-05-19 11:16:21
9
Anthony :
Maybe it's my nerodyvergent self but intention matters to me. Intention matter more than impact for me 100%. If someone hurts me but generally explains it wasn't intention then my feelings is wrong and I have to regulate.
2026-04-22 12:21:01
7
Let The Truth Set You Free :
A conversation I had with my ex-husband was he told me that over the course of our relationship that I did things that hurt him. He was very vague and gave no details. When I asked about what I did that hurt him, he could not give me an answer. He just kept saying that I did things that hurt him. At that point all I could say is I am sorry if I did anything that hurt you and that nothing I have ever done towards you was with ill intent. It is hard to apologize properly and acknowledge any damage for things that you have done if the person cannot tell you what you have done that was wrong.
2026-04-27 16:12:36
6
Gimme all the puppies 🐶 :
More people need to be taught about fear and shame. It helps BOTH sides handle their reactions better. The impact may not feel so impactful if you understand your own fear and shame. I’m in control of that, not relying on someone else’s intent, impact or ability to repair.
2026-04-21 02:48:42
5
arielhxsk41 :
Impact doesn’t erase intent. 100% agree tend to impact regardless of intent. But people who assume intent just bc of impact is harmful too.
2026-04-19 11:01:04
24
Faith :
I’m on board with this, although I’d say some neurodivergent brains need to understand the intent in order to process the impact. Someone saying they are sorry for hurting me does nothing. I need them to explain why they did and where they were coming from before I can hear the apology
2026-04-23 23:22:05
7
SomethingArrogant :
this is crazy to hear because I want to know what someone's intent was. impact is impact, we can work through that, intent we can't. I live life knowing that I will be hurt, it's the intent that changes things for me. hurt from someone who had pure intentions hits differently. I want to understand why you did what you did, no matter the outcome. explains alot why it's been a problem in my past relationships.
2026-04-27 05:33:44
13
user4u :
Your intention does not erase the impact. That’s why clarifying your intention does not resolve the other person.
2026-05-07 12:47:30
6
Gabriela Teodora :
Even worse when they say “ sorry you feel that way, that wasn’t my intention “
2026-04-21 04:31:32
14
Sana :
I was told I get defensive, don’t listen, and argue too much. But it started to feel like every time I spoke, even explaining myself was called ‘arguing.’ I’ve noticed a pattern where either I get blocked, or I end up removing myself, because it starts to feel like I need to shrink myself just to be accepted. I don’t think I need to stay in environments where I can’t even speak without being labeled.
2026-04-20 06:18:28
17
Rad B 🇨🇦 :
I feel like this goes both ways.. there are a few people in my life for whom I’m constantly walking around on eggshells. No matter my intent or approach, it’s wrong. But the majority of people in my life, don’t have this issue so I don’t think it’s me… at some point, regulating our nervous system is our own responsibility. That’s not to say everyone should just be blunt and hurtful… be mindful of what you say and how you say it, but it’s a two way street.
2026-04-19 06:20:53
121
Kayt Anne :
As a social worker I have mixed feelings on this bc I’ve seen it used productively as well as weaponized. Good for ensuring authentic apologies that dont get into “but I didn’t mean to! It was a joke!” Territory, great. I’ve also had a guy fully claim I obviously hated him for laugh reacting a funny meme he posted, and he was using that I laugh reacted his post as evidence that I clearly hated him?? And said I was gaslighting him for being authentically confused and explaining? Sometimes intent vs impact can validate someone who’s trying to force their reality on to your actions.
2026-04-19 04:00:47
234
✨ Smashley ✨ :
there needs to be a compromise here, at what point do people get held responsible for their own traumas, triggers, and emotions? is there no accountability on them to get help and heal? and why is everyone out here always assuming malicious intent?! every situation is obviously different but both parties need to be held accountable for impact and intent imo
2026-04-25 18:37:50
7
Cay-lynn :
I literally always say impact over intention in confrontation. This has changed so much in terms of healthier communication
2026-05-12 17:52:11
5
aster :
I just don't understand this. If I got hurt by something my best friend said, and it was revealed that I had completely misinterpreted them, I wouldn't be upset anymore. Why should I hold others responsible for something that they never actually said? "Impact over intent" is a phrase that hurts a lot when applied to misunderstandings. It's just so unfair. It's something that's used to hold power and assign shame to someone that hasn't done anything wrong. I don't understand why someone would still be hurt by something that had no intent to it. Intent is the issue. Words hold no meaning on their own.
2026-04-20 20:08:03
250
🇦🇺may_you_be_well :
we judge others by the impact but judge ourselves by our intention….
2026-04-19 03:35:09
20
To see more videos from user @thepottymouthguru, please go to the Tikwm
homepage.
