cain :
months have passed and i’m still trying to move on. i tried to be okay, i tried to distract myself, and i even started liking someone else. i told myself that maybe this is how healing works, that maybe if i keep going, the feelings will slowly fade. but no matter what i do, you’re still the one i think about. at the end of the day, it’s still you that i want. i don’t understand why my feelings won’t go away. maybe it’s because what we had meant so much to me, more than i ever said out loud. sometimes i wonder if you ever think about me too, or if it was easy for you to choose someone else. i try not to compare, not to ask “why not me,” but the question still stays in my mind. losing you changed me. it forced me to grow in ways i didn’t know how to before. i started to understand my mistakes, the things i could have done better, the love i could have shown more clearly. i learned these lessons too late, and that’s the part that hurts the most. i wish you could meet this version of me now, the one who understands more, who loves better, who is more patient and more honest. i wish you could see that loving you changed me for the better. i am slowly learning to live with the idea that you may never come back, that we might always stay as something from the past. i’m trying to accept that some stories don’t get another chance. but even as i tell myself to let go, a part of my heart is still holding on to you, still hoping, even if i know i shouldn’t.
2026-05-30 03:07:18