@pocket.psychologist: Your emotions are not random. They often come with an impulse… but the impulse is not always the need. Anxiety may want avoidance. What may help is safety. Anger may want attack. What may help is a boundary. Sadness may want withdrawal. What may help is comfort. Jealousy may want clinging. What may help is reassurance. Guilt may want rumination. What may help is repair. Shame may want hiding. What may help is compassion. Overwhelm may want freezing. What may help is less load. Loneliness may want isolation. What may help is connection. Frustration may want quitting. What may help is flexibility. Numbness may want disconnecting. What may help is gentle safety. The more you understand what your emotions need, the easier they become to work with. If you’d like practical psychology tools to understand your mind, regulate emotions, build boundaries, confidence, habits and more, my Pocket Psychologist Mini Course is linked in bio for the details.

Matante Tacule :

hand on heart???

Ms World :

Noooooo. This is an outdated method that is a form of avoidance. Emotions that are predominantly fear based or trigger a limbic response need processing. If you take the time to process the emotion will be intergrated. Intergration is the healing and release so as it cannot replay. Intergration does not require action, it requires presence, feeling the emotion, withdrawal for the process to peak and intergrate. The emotion needs to be felt, experienced without the story.

Dwa Domy Jeden Stół :

Jamie Smyth :

Apologising has never once helped with my guilt since I feel guilt for everything. Having needs, existing, taking responsibility for every little thing that isn’t my fault

JamGlamD :

jjj :

and what if there is no safe person

Lovy 🇨🇦 :

This is brilliant, so helpful! Thank you

Shine On ADHD/AuDHD Coaching :

This is v helpful once you’ve sat with the emotion and named it. People will have a different answer for what they need and what helps.. which is great.. because they learn to think about what their needs are rather than just question why they’re like this. Good video 😃

mewmewacg :

what if its a mix?

Lucy 🇦🇷🇳🇿 :

tongkang🇲🇾 :

i reach out but nobody wanna help

Khiz :

What I need is some of those good stickers that are actually staying on the wall for the entire video

LePaloma :

how do I put boundaries at work without being fired? I fee like I have to overgive

wild.florrie :

And then you ask directly and they get defensive

OUISTUDIO :

Heather Daniel380 :

Omg how reductive is this

Maveryck B :

I like the sticky notes as a way to help identify tools for different emotions once having felt the emotions!

Koots_To_Coast 🇨🇦 :

How can I find discipline to work through executive dysfunction?

Mr Bobbalina 🇦🇺 :

Hate the jealousy solution - my husband needs to deal with his insecurities not ask for assurance all the time ehich is exhausting

em.kay1 :

Distinguish the difference between emotions and feelings. All of those aren't emotions.

deedeequeen1589 :

Giiiiirl, this is so helpful. Thank you

smallbusinessjourneygirl :

I am a family mediator. I often can’t get down to the negotiating work because these things are in the way and sabotaging the process. This is so helpful to work on insight that can lead to getting beyond these obstacles to more clearheaded communication

Chasing_Cats_&_Clouds :

So what happens if you don’t get the need met? 🤷🏻‍♀️Genuine question.

user6850206899432 :

i need a poster of this

dzimbodzambo :

Omg. Thank you so much ! This is so useful !!!!! I have read so many books and have never received anything as helpful as this !