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Saturday 25 April 2026 21:49:52 GMT
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Some people are still here mostly out of love for everyone else, and I think that deserves to be talked about more gently than it usually is. You’d never guess it looking at them. They show up to work. They answer the group chat. They make jokes at dinner and remember everybody’s birthday. They’re often the one everyone else leans on, the one who asks “are you okay?” and actually waits for the answer. But underneath it, some days, the main reason they keep going is because they can’t stand the thought of their little brother growing up without them, or their mom getting that phone call, or their kid looking at an empty chair. They stay for the people they love, even on days they can’t find a reason to stay for themselves. If that’s you, first of all, I see how much strength that takes. It’s not nothing to keep getting up when you’re that tired. That love you have for your people is real, and it’s powerful, and it’s okay to hold onto it as tightly as you need to right now. It’s doing important work. But I want to gently say something, the way a friend would. You deserve to have reasons that are just for you too. Not instead of them, alongside them. Maybe it’s tiny right now. The first sip of coffee. A song you haven’t heard yet. A place you’ve always wanted to see. A friend who’d drive across town at midnight if you called. The way your dog loses their mind when you walk in the door. A version of yourself a year from now who feels lighter and is really, really glad you held on. Those reasons can grow, but it’s really hard to grow them alone, in the dark, while carrying all of this quietly. So please tell someone. One of those people you’re staying for would want to know, I promise you that. Or talk to a doctor, a counselor, or a crisis line where you are, someone whose whole job is helping people through exactly this. You don’t have to have the right words. “I’m not okay and I need help” is enough. It really is one of the saddest things nobody talks about, how many of us are only still alive so the people we love won’t lose us. So let’s talk about it. And let’s make sure you get to stay for you, too.
Some people are still here mostly out of love for everyone else, and I think that deserves to be talked about more gently than it usually is. You’d never guess it looking at them. They show up to work. They answer the group chat. They make jokes at dinner and remember everybody’s birthday. They’re often the one everyone else leans on, the one who asks “are you okay?” and actually waits for the answer. But underneath it, some days, the main reason they keep going is because they can’t stand the thought of their little brother growing up without them, or their mom getting that phone call, or their kid looking at an empty chair. They stay for the people they love, even on days they can’t find a reason to stay for themselves. If that’s you, first of all, I see how much strength that takes. It’s not nothing to keep getting up when you’re that tired. That love you have for your people is real, and it’s powerful, and it’s okay to hold onto it as tightly as you need to right now. It’s doing important work. But I want to gently say something, the way a friend would. You deserve to have reasons that are just for you too. Not instead of them, alongside them. Maybe it’s tiny right now. The first sip of coffee. A song you haven’t heard yet. A place you’ve always wanted to see. A friend who’d drive across town at midnight if you called. The way your dog loses their mind when you walk in the door. A version of yourself a year from now who feels lighter and is really, really glad you held on. Those reasons can grow, but it’s really hard to grow them alone, in the dark, while carrying all of this quietly. So please tell someone. One of those people you’re staying for would want to know, I promise you that. Or talk to a doctor, a counselor, or a crisis line where you are, someone whose whole job is helping people through exactly this. You don’t have to have the right words. “I’m not okay and I need help” is enough. It really is one of the saddest things nobody talks about, how many of us are only still alive so the people we love won’t lose us. So let’s talk about it. And let’s make sure you get to stay for you, too.

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