If you’re more anxiously attached in your relationships, it’s not a “thinking” issue, it’s a safety issue. Whenever I noticed my man seeming “off,” it would cause me to question if something was wrong or if he was mad at me. He’d say he was just tired, and logically, I understood that, but emotionally, it sent me into a spiral of needing to “fix” his mood. Which only led us down a path to actual conflict, because he’d get irritated at my incessant need to have everything be “okay” all of the time, and would ultimately end up asking for space—the one thing my system had the biggest resistance to, and caused me to escalate deeper into chaos. If this relates, you’re not alone and you’re not broken. Your nervous system has learned to protect you from things that once weren’t safe (space, vocal tones, body language, etc.) A part of you might think that solving it or talking about every thought or feeling you have in the moment will “fix” it, but it actually only strengthens the cycle of the pattern. The key is to work with your body and what it’s feeling, not try to talk or think your way out of it because it will only keep you on that hamster wheel. Your system will try to convince you to escalate, lash out, chase, spiral, overexplain, or control the situation, but you have to remember that you have choice. You can choose a different response. You can choose to remove yourself from the situation, take some deep breaths, place a hand on your heart and breathe, go for a walk, shake it out, or simply just sit in stillness. It doesn’t mean your emotions will vanish immediately, but it will help them to soften (even just by 1%) and create space for you to show up differently. It’s not about eliminating your pain or fear, it’s about showing your nervous system that even if you do feel upset, you can stay with yourself through it without projecting it onto your partner. Then, with more self-regulation practice, communication becomes easier between the two of you, where you can both hear one another during conflict instead of pointing blame at one another. Always self-regulate before you communicate. If you resonate wit this, you don’t have to navigate these cycles anymore. You can break free from the escalation and step toward regulation. Link in bio to work together 1:1. #relationshiphealing #nervoussystemhealing #anxiousattachmentstyle #relationships - @audreyabrothers