@the_control_code: Replying to @Hys145 This is what coercive control looks like in practice. One sentence is breakable. “You’re being dramatic.” “Where are you.” “I don’t trust your friend.” But sentences don’t stay single. They bind into cords. Surveillance. Isolation. Then into a rope. The research is clear: people who use coercive control are 4-5x more likely to kill their partners than people who use physical violence alone. Half the men who murder their partners haven’t hit them in the year before the murder. It almost never starts looking like something that could kill you. It starts looking like one sentence that didn’t sit right. You don’t have to be strong enough to break the rope. You have to be skilled enough to see the first thread. You can leave when it’s just one thread. That is allowed. That is smart. That is exactly what I want you to do. Because what makes it bad is what happens when you can’t. #coercivecontrol #domesticviolenceawareness #teenrelationships #datingviolence #thecontrolcode​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

The Control Code
The Control Code
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Tuesday 28 April 2026 02:57:45 GMT
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mamakimberlyrobin
mamakimberlyrobin :
I think the “I only do this because someone hurt me before and if you loved me, you’d understand I need these things to feel secure” is just as prevalent as “I do this because I love you.”
2026-05-06 17:34:01
842
phoenixquinndinucci
Phoenix Q :
Surveillance and isolation. I don't have a single friend. Not one.
2026-05-24 02:04:29
433
miss.alexandria
Alex (she/they) :
I wish this was curriculum in school
2026-06-20 13:54:37
206
hallej86
Halle :
I think its so important to start talking to our kids in late elementary school about what manipulation looks like in friendships. They need to be able to identify it in low stakes situations so they aren't figuring it out when the stakes are higher.
2026-06-15 02:12:04
117
anne.7277
Anne :
my sister in law is in a relationship like this. I've been in one before and I recognize all the patterns. I've been trying to explain to her that it will only get worse, never better. But she says he wasn't always like this, so she thinks he could go back to how he was in the beginning of the relationship. I'm really concerned and I feel powerless to help her
2026-05-06 08:38:20
168
itssbrittany_c
Brittany :
I went through this in high school. I’m so thankful that I was able to get out.
2026-04-28 03:40:11
255
feverdreambella
feverdreambella :
you are amazing at explaining i enjoy your videos
2026-04-28 03:12:43
444
byafg
user4946040481782 :
That voice in your head is your intuition. It’s there to keep you alive and safe. Trust it..
2026-04-28 09:32:08
82
qzana00
Mary :
The key is patterns! Also your gut feeling from the beginning will start warning you.
2026-04-28 14:34:26
177
lisanianotlasagna
lisanianotlasagna :
Got out of this 2 years ago 😭♥️
2026-04-28 12:13:03
133
estokate
EstoKate :
My ex would say “why do you always have to be busy and doing something” when I was literally just doing normal stuff and happy. I got to the point I stopped doing everything but go to work
2026-04-30 07:31:33
32
mrshillk22
mrshillk22 :
And these sentences are often said separately, not all at one time so they are sandwiched in between other sentences that are unalarming and loving so it’s harder to notice or it’s easier to shrug off the alarm when you do hear the coercive controlling sentences.
2026-04-29 10:57:39
192
fishandferd
Fish&Ferd Cat Adventures :
This is a really great description and visualization. Have you seen the movie “Moll Flanders” with Robin Wright and Morgan Freeman??There is a scene where the “Madam” describes the coerciveness as being like a good horse trainer, where you don’t even notice you are being trained.
2026-07-22 11:50:11
0
zeren1717
zeren :
This is so important since coercive control is so hard to recognize! Thank you, you are doing God’s work!
2026-04-28 11:50:05
173
amberdibella22
amberdibella22 :
The best story teller ever 🥺
2026-04-28 03:44:16
56
_liljenn
_liljenn :
Sending all of these to my 19 year old. Very great explanations.
2026-04-28 16:08:59
141
cobwebkittenz
Cobweb Kitty :
This is soo on point. A couple of my exes were like this. I called one Hawkeye because I was constantly being watched. The other would say things like “I just need to know to put my mind to rest- otherwise I’ll start thinking you’re hiding things.” Both of them were abusive in their own ways. When it stops feeling like compromise and starts feeling like sacrifice it’s time to leave. It’s better to be alone & free than be with someone who cages you!
2026-07-19 05:48:49
0
okcitychick
SheHasTeeth :
People don't understand how powerful language and words are
2026-04-29 16:32:04
39
the_original_gayle
🇨🇦 doodles & daydreams ❌ :
It’s abuse. I’m so glad I left
2026-04-30 11:52:22
36
monzartnz
Monz 🦋 :
Thank you, this was brilliant way to describe it. It’s super clear and reminds me I’m making the right choice to get out before it’s a becomes a rope. Thank you 🙏 you’ve confirmed a lot of gut feels I’ve been having about these things that show as care but don’t feel caring 😓 thank you again so much 🩷🩷
2026-04-28 04:44:24
78
bubble.baby14
bubblebaby :
Trust👏Your👏Gut👏
2026-06-09 12:41:42
15
arlestesfaye
Lenaa ♡ :
Realized I do some of these things due to old wounds from being cheated on but it’s not my intention to form a cord, I need to be mindful of how I mind/patterns.
2026-05-12 17:25:59
28
cclairebearrrrr
cclairebearrrrr :
As someone who’s done tons of advocacy work for DVA, this is beautifully said! Thank you!!!🤍
2026-04-28 04:24:06
32
dinosaur.oxy
dinosaur.oxy :
you're allowed to have a podcast asap😭
2026-05-11 08:00:37
19
blessedmesstexas
blessedmesstexas :
This is SO valuable
2026-04-28 22:07:09
11
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