@drjondabach: Most couples I work with are dealing with this exact dynamic. The husband leans dismissive avoidant and the wife is left feeling shut out, confused, and desperate for more connection. She wants closeness, reassurance, emotional presence. He wants space, calm, and to not feel overwhelmed. So the more she reaches, the more he pulls back. And the more he pulls back, the harder she pushes. That cycle isn’t random. It’s attachment playing out in real time, and if you don’t understand it, you’ll keep misreading his distance as not caring when it’s actually him trying to regulate. Here’s the hard truth. You cannot chase a dismissive avoidant into closeness. It backfires every time. The shift is learning how to stay grounded, say what you need clearly without flooding him, and create moments of connection that feel safe instead of pressured. That doesn’t mean shrinking yourself. It means being intentional instead of reactive. Change the pattern, and you change the relationship. #DismissiveAvoidant #MarriageAdvice #AttachmentStyles

drjondabach
drjondabach
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Friday 08 May 2026 18:58:00 GMT
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omar.ramirez238
Omar عُمَر 🇲🇽🇺🇸☪️ :
I’ve been through this, I forced myself to change. I forced myself to become secure. I was done with the cycle.
2026-05-10 12:56:19
633
hossdaddy36
hossdaddy36 :
So how do u fix it? U explained nothing
2026-05-14 13:41:20
55
tonka_johari
TonkaJohari :
I'm trying so hard it feels like my heart is going to die
2026-05-30 18:07:13
22
jets_nation1995
Jets :
From my experience as much as it hurts to do it, leave them alone. They are 100% used to you always being there and admit it, if they called you any time of the day you would drop what your doing and attend them. Notice how they don’t do the same? Notice how they’re are living a normal life without you? Thats because you’re constantly there reassuring them that if they happen to need you that you’ll be there. Well stop being there, not saying to completely forget about them but maybe put yourself first for once. Yes be selfish for once in the relationship and put yourself first. Now it’s not going to be easy but from my experience after 5 days of no contact guess who started contacting first? Just give it time. If it was meant to be then it was then if it wasn’t just take it as lesson that you can take a lot from.
2026-07-03 16:17:40
13
codyovermann
Cody92 :
Wish I knew this 5 months ago
2026-05-09 12:08:54
218
th3_spid3r_m4n
Th3_Spid3r_m4n🇺🇸 :
so will she come back at all, will she talk with me again. do I continue to wait for her to reach out to me because I have pushed so much...I just don't know I feel so damn lost and confused I don't know what to do
2026-06-16 01:39:48
8
blessedcutz_family
Blessedcutz :
that is me and my wife 14 years!! exhausting!
2026-05-14 04:38:46
56
justice.mayfield
Justice :
Wish i knew this 2 months ago
2026-06-29 15:47:31
19
madzerottv
Mad Mike :
Going through this 😔
2026-05-10 02:34:02
26
cameronburgess177
Cameron :
that was me and my wife
2026-05-09 10:33:38
17
cajuncowboy87
Leo Kelley :
going thru this now but we both refuse to give up
2026-05-13 22:39:07
9
the.brian.project
The Brian Project :
My take on attachment theory is that it’s most useful as a description of behavior and least useful as an explanation of people. It can describe what someone is doing, but it often gets used to explain why they’re doing it without enough evidence. The bigger problem is that it takes the “we” out of relationships. Instead of asking what dynamic two people created together, it relocates the problem inside one person. Then people stop looking at the relationship and start looking for heroes, villains, anxious partners, and avoidant partners. In my experience, that makes curiosity, accountability, and repair less likely, not more.
2026-05-29 14:08:27
6
tyrie_69
ƬYЯIΣ🥷🏾 ✞ :
Her fyp plz
2026-06-29 03:02:26
7
gonefishing9425
Journey1995 :
Im anxious attachment
2026-05-10 01:08:20
8
nickdy3269947183924
nd123713 :
but like how do we fix this though like i see videos explaining what it is but not ways to fix it
2026-05-11 22:09:47
5
colonialcylon
Thomas :
It was awful.
2026-05-13 04:23:48
11
sheameade959
sheameade959 :
pain hurt and broken trust
2026-07-03 01:56:44
1
jcsantos_704
Jc Santos :
My case
2026-05-09 18:13:39
17
mous3rrr1
mous3r :
I simply pulled back and went to her level I only say anything when she reaches out or calls and its same thing for hanging out I don’t ask anything or nothing about anything I just let her come to me and go on with life
2026-05-29 22:24:34
3
nobleghostavr
Nobleghost avr :
so I did try to fix it after a week. she didn't like somethings I did while that week happened. but now I'm just moving on. I want her back but I shouldn't even after she cheated on me
2026-07-04 07:54:44
1
peterrabbit36
peterrabbit36 :
right on track
2026-06-26 06:05:44
1
knight_ronald
knight_ronald :
Wish I knew this before..
2026-05-11 21:21:07
2
matthiasknorrmusic
matthiasknorrmusic :
I had to close that chapter just a week ago. After 7 months of being in the anxious/avoidant cycle, I reached for professional help. I knew what was happening and I tried to make it work. But my nervous system was/is destroyed so badly after this. So now I’m slowly recovering from it.
2026-06-22 16:09:05
3
matt__m
Matt_M :
Just went through this we broke up Monday.
2026-06-11 21:26:26
2
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