@jillian.turecki: The person who consistently withdraws has all the control in the relationship. #relationships #relationshipadvice #relationshipissues #couples

Faux Riche :

I pull away because I want to understand my feelings and how better to communicate them. I don’t want to say anything out of anger. You can’t take words back once they’re out. I do this because I love him and value our relationship and want to be fair and give myself time to sort through emotional reaction vs the facts. The intent is not to control or be hurtful.

Vanexa :

My recent ex who leaned avoidant had all the control. When I saw him. How long i stayed. How many times i got to see him and the whole while...i allowed it. I started walking on eggshells and I totally self abandoned myself.

Forgedinironandfaith :

How do you fix it i do this is sucks

claire.broad_soul.medium :

It looks like they are in control, but actually it isn’t control at all.

Valerie :

What’s the game plan for those of us on the receiving end?

mayalvss0 :

this hit a little too hard honestly, i was in a relationship like that and after a while you stop recognizing yourself because you’re always the one trying to reach someone who keeps pulling away. i randomly found the book Hollow Intimacy around that time and it explained that dynamic in a way i’d never been able to put into words myself

Eepy :

the second someone pulls away im just done i don't have time for that

Vega Sparx :

Taking a break is okay, withdraw is a danger sign for sure.

Jamie Pill :

Facts

jenners832 :

It’s absolutely coping but bc I have to walk on eggshells

Heteng Zhang :

set a boundary, state clearly that this doesn't work, and then walk away.

💋💋 :

I wholeheartedly agree !

Mel Kearney :

I am one step away from withdrawing from this relationship. I have no desire for marriage under our current circumstances. I will try to follow this advice. Our conversation today just confirmed my thoughts about your feelings. You know what? Forget it, it’s too hard for my heart, soul and feelings,

danielfreedman4 :

sadly it's a natural reaction when feeling unappreciated and disrespected

CEO Le Leyi :

What if you communicate and there is no resolution? You communicate all the time and the same issue and boundaries are crossed. What do you do?

MissFrenchie🇨🇦 :

Except, I decenterized him and focused back on myself. That helped remove that power struggle.

user818355383205 :

I end conversations when they become circular. Because that’s when they get heated. This is the when I try to disengage and it seems like the only time he is ready to engage in difficult conversations

Avirgo9w :

Ouch, never saw it like this.

Elle :

And ironically enough they end up teaching you to walk away and withdraw

Hohocho :

your.mind.rewired :

That is right!

Pitipiwiw Wiwiw :

and pulling away works so well. especially when you're dealing with a partner who just bluntly refuses to listen to you or reason. then communicating is really a no go as this just causes the person to spiral out of control with no clear direction or intention to solve the issue at hand. communicating then really just makes things worse.

Bookkeeper :

we both pulled away, 6 months nothing, no doubt this is the point of no return, moving on😁

Naaka Remmy Scorpio bea ♏🌹🥰 :

I pull away after tempted trials to make it work and it's not, all o receive is inconsistency, emotional unavailability, neglect, distance etc 😳

Clau ⚡️🦋 👩🏻‍❤️‍👩🏻 🌈 :

Definitely need to work on that, 🫠 thank u