velvet.S :
I keep asking myself what the point of starting this again would even be, because what if she already has someone else now, what if she’s moved on in ways I haven’t been able to, what if she simply has no interest in me anymore, or worse, what if she never really did the way I believed she did. And then there’s this fear that sits heavy in my chest, the thought that I might lose whatever self-respect I’ve managed to hold onto, just to reach out to someone who might not even care if I stay or leave. I wonder how I would face that reality again, how I would handle being ignored, replaced, or made to feel like I never mattered in the first place. It’s exhausting fighting these thoughts, replaying every possibility in my head, because a part of me still wants to try, still hopes for something different, but another part of me is terrified of breaking all over again. I don’t know if I’m strong enough to go through that same pain twice, especially knowing how deeply it affected me the first time, and sometimes it feels safer to just stay where I am, even if it means living with questions instead of risking answers that might hurt even more.
2026-07-12 14:27:11