@thepottymouthguru: A lot of people think repair isn’t landing because something is being said wrong. Usually that’s not it. One person is addressing what happened. The other person is reacting to what keeps happening. Those are not the same thing. You can apologize, take accountability, and change a behaviour and it still won’t land if the pattern underneath hasn’t actually shifted. This isn’t about being too sensitive and it’s not about needing perfect repair. It’s about the nervous system tracking consistency over time. Not moments. Patterns, people. ❤️🤟🏻🌿 #unfuckyourself #thepottymouthguru #relationshippatterns #selftrust #communication

The Pottymouth Guru
The Pottymouth Guru
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Region: CA
Saturday 02 May 2026 16:49:00 GMT
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gearhead19963
MedicusUrsa :
And what if even the pattern is changing, but the other person refuses to see it, runs the whole narrative so that it fits the pattern, is trapped in only seeing the pattern? Even when it has gone.
2026-05-02 19:09:27
24
anthonyforster3
anthony forster :
I keep running the hamster wheel. I react instantly to my beautiful wife who has put up with a lot from me over our 40 year's and then I try to repair what I've said or done I am trying to change the way I react. Any help you can offer would be appreciated as I don't want to lose her. Thank you from the UK
2026-05-03 14:32:54
8
thepottymouthguru
The Pottymouth Guru :
Do you feel like you’re fixing the moment… or actually changing the pattern?
2026-05-02 16:50:38
10
summerzeb
weirdwitchywonderful :
yes it's hard because he only notices and attempts to repair the big hurtful things but when I get upset about the little things that signal the same disregard for me I'm dramatic but it's he general pattern of not considering me that makes me feel unloved
2026-05-04 23:13:42
15
christarrynight
Christa :
Oh this landed. He wants to check the box, complete the task, and move on. Then accuses me of moving the goalposts. I find myself constantly frustrated, saying “It’s not about the [insert whatever current issue we’re talking about]!”
2026-05-23 04:12:22
3
mcdoodle412
McDoodle :
We worked with a marriage councillor trained in Gottman and this was my exact issue. Don’t “kitchen sink” and patterns never got addressed.
2026-05-03 19:00:18
5
mellorachelo
Dana 🩵🪩🌺 :
This is exactly where I am and not does my boyfriend not get it he chalks most things up to that I'm too hard on him, that I have the same issues as him and that I only focus on the negative meanwhile we get in a cyclical fights weekly. I'm exhausted
2026-05-10 23:41:36
3
maureenclair
Maureen :
This is awesome as are all of your messages! Thanks 😊
2026-05-02 18:38:26
3
anavidreader07
An Avid Reader :
It felt like a performance. Especially in front of the couples therapist. He’d perform the apology and I’d have to perform the acceptance. But the issue (that whole shame management thing) was never really addressed.
2026-05-24 15:51:20
2
twinklet1tss
Nikki 🇨🇦 :
going through this exactly to the T right now!!
2026-06-22 12:39:11
1
poatato
… :
Girl. Ma’am . Madam. Why do you keep doing this to me😭
2026-05-02 18:02:40
5
jessjrod
jessjrod :
Repair
2026-06-04 12:19:25
0
heathernanax2mamax3
Mrs. Bloom 🌸 :
You are spot on on all your videos about the DA. This is my husband. I’m exhausted.
2026-05-05 19:53:07
3
manicmeatballs
manicmeatballs :
I can’t with your hair. It’s tooooo good. I love it! And your info 🥰
2026-05-06 04:02:31
2
aetherialaf
AliciaFrancis :
your language is so incredibly helpful. i have been trying to explain this pain to my partner for a YEAR. this was so incredibly helpful.
2026-05-26 03:40:53
1
karijo2035
karijo2035 :
I would like to hire you
2026-05-05 18:07:50
0
travelstar4
Sana :
Well said
2026-05-06 06:03:12
1
user444484079
Gumoza :
Repair
2026-06-12 18:06:26
0
kel818x
Kel Smith :
At some point, security must come from within.
2026-05-13 12:12:54
0
melissanixspence
Melissa Nix Spence :
Repair 🙏🏼
2026-05-06 06:05:18
0
digitkitchen
Andrew John Kitchen🇨🇦 :
so what im seeing in this situation the person repairing thinks they are doing ot. the person who was hurt sees nothing changed. so should the person repairing check in with the person hurt so they know if the repair is working for the person that is hurt. example person repairing think they are succeeding on structure level but unknowingly failing. would it be a good idea to check in every couple of weeks with partner that you are on the right track? or does that come off as change for validation vs genuine change?
2026-05-17 14:00:40
0
jwenzel247
Jwenz :
Repair
2026-05-15 18:42:01
0
rcknpp7
RcknPP7 :
I see a lot of videos on how to repair and communicate, but how do we decide when a dynamic is not going to change, and how do you take the next steps in a relationship like this?
2026-06-27 22:01:48
0
solsolauna
l :
I wish more people left instead of trying to repair something with a person who hurt them deeply like this. Someone getting the chance to play in your face twice is horrifying.
2026-06-21 06:47:51
0
no_longer_totally_chill_
no_longer_totally_chill_ :
For different reasons, the two have the same behaviors and issues. The dynamic is doubled and compounds the struggles. htms
2026-05-05 20:50:58
0
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