light :
I'm tired of pretending. I still love you.
I've gained a new perspective on everything that happened, nd i think i really was the problem. dangg ittt—i know i was. u risked losing yourself just to love me, and I treated u horribly. Instead of asking what was wrong or checking up on u, I chose to leave. That's something I deeply regret. U're probably happy with someone else right now, and as much as it hurts to admit, I'm glad u are. I'm glad u're no longer suffering because of my presence in ur life. I just want to say thank u. Thank u for loving me when I didn't know how to love u properly. Thank u for understanding me, even when I was difficult to understand. Thank u for all ur effort, ur patience, ur comfort, and every time u stayed when u had every reason to leave.
Thank u for the little things too—the games we both played together like ML and Roblox, the late night talks even tho i left u delivered for hours, the vm laughs u sent me, the calls, the moments that seemed ordinary at the time but mean so much to me now. Those memories will always have a special place in my heart. i know I was avoidant. I kept pushing u away when all u ever wanted was to love me and be loved by me. I realize how much u gave and how little I gave in return. I feel terrible knowing that I made someone who cared for me so much feel unwanted. I was so focused on my own fears that I failed to appreciate you while I still had u. And now, I miss u more than words can explain. u gave up on me, and honestly, I understand why. If I were u, I probably would've done the same. I don't blame u for choosing ur peace.
If u ever decide to come back, I'll always welcome you with open arms. But I know that's probably never going to happen bcs u have someone else better now, and maybe that's something I have to accept nd respect. Still, thank u for everything, Russ. Thank u for loving me. Thank u for being part of my life. No matter where life takes us, a part of me will always be grateful that I got to know u.
I'm so sorry my sweet boy :(
2026-06-23 21:50:41