The Pottymouth Guru
Region: CA
Sunday 03 May 2026 13:59:11 GMT
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McDoodle :
Every complaint I had was met with you’re saying I’m bad. There was never any language or I statement I could use that didn’t trigger his defensiveness.
2026-05-03 20:30:28
219
Kevin Tatum :
I always feel like if the other person truly knows me and gets my intent then there shouldn’t be an impact to even bring up.
2026-05-03 23:59:55
11
Emily Wachelka :
I have said so many times that I feel like I have to tattoo on my forehead "you are not bad" even if I'm feedbacking. His instant response is "it's so unfair that you're saying this about me"
2026-06-25 06:17:19
1
Watermelon :
he does a mix of defensiveness and total shut down. silence, leaving, going into a hole. it breaks my heart.
2026-05-03 22:27:03
87
Joshua :
It's so hard. I love her so much, but I can't stay married to someone who sees me through the lens of her core wound. She sees me as both the villain and the hero when I'm neither. I'm just a person. I'm her partner.
2026-05-06 00:02:19
25
nutmeg.pie🐦⬛🥧✨ :
Don’t ever move into over functioning with out your own shame wound.
2026-05-04 15:43:38
0
Caitlin DeAngelis :
But like what if this person is actually doing a bunch of bad things? Like lying and hiding and betraying? What’s the normal amount of shame or guilt you should feel from behaving terribly?
2026-05-04 13:33:04
17
Mamawowski :
It is exhausting. He just went to a therapy intake - praying to ALL GODS that the clinician sees what’s happening for him and works their magic.
2026-05-03 21:19:52
45
Shane Fairchild :
This was my last relationship. I did both and ended up in burnout haaaard. I couldn’t do it anymore and feel awful but I just didn’t have it in me anymore. I found myself lying more and more to avoid hard conversations because they never ended up in repair, just defensiveness and blame shifting. I felt so invisible like when my feelings got hurt it didn’t matter. I feel so bad for them and genuinely hope they take time to work through some of the shame wound
2026-05-04 06:26:23
6
Sheepdog84 :
I’m in the "over-functioning" category managing coworker/friend’s shame and burned myself out strategizing finding the right words/framing for it
2026-05-03 16:28:15
26
Liza :
I have been on both sides. I can see that in myself. I have worked hard to work through that. I recently just have been on the receiving end, facts given to me, yet acknowledgement of hurt was huge.
2026-05-03 22:29:45
7
Rachel Alexandra :
Yikes we BOTH do this. He’s helped me work through so much of my defensiveness, but he’s a tougher nut to crack and I don’t know how to ease his pain.
2026-06-25 12:45:59
1
Raquel Parker :
How every word you spoke described my relationship with my husband. I know if I share this video with him, he will get defensive. 😩
2026-05-07 14:37:07
7
Phoebe 🏳️🌈 :
How can you know if it’s genuinely capacity that can be built and when you should walk away as your capacities don’t match?
2026-05-04 08:51:37
7
cooluser94 :
feel bad for them but feel worse for myself. bye
2026-05-07 03:51:49
3
as@ :
You are wonderfully articulate and actively listening to you is so nourishing- thank you you’ve helped me so much
2026-05-03 15:28:47
5
Rach :
Damn, i wish i would have heard this before we spent years in couples therapy trying to dance around his shame wound. I wish more therapists understood this. No amount of softening (etc etc etc) from me has changed how he perceives what i say. And thank you for explaining the difference between shame tolerance- shame is also something i struggle with but i am able to tolerate it (and course correct if necessary) but i’ve never heard anyone articulate that difference so well. Thank you ❤️
2026-05-04 18:01:09
13
Wonkybiirds :
Holy shit this was a life changing watch 💕✨
2026-05-03 19:09:18
14
Shreddy✨💙✨ :
What are some good strategies to identify and pause in real time situations if your partner is willing? I dont want to sound like I’m constantly saying “you’re doing it again”
2026-05-05 00:23:31
12
Goblin :
I’m the defensive partner and I struggle with shame in accountability SO MUCH. Thank you for illustrating what the end goal of processing while dealing with this should look like. I know it probably sounds obvious or I should have been able to figure that out for myself but… eh, I’m not going to justify it. I think this video has been a lot of help.
2026-05-04 19:08:38
6
fugitivepineapple :
Impact
2026-05-07 18:59:28
1
Kgranto :
Impact
2026-05-10 00:02:51
1
Jean2863 :
Impact
2026-05-11 04:27:13
1
💙⚡️Storm⚡️💙 :
so how can you tell if you're being defensive or you're trying to have your perspective seen/acknowledged
2026-05-08 07:07:33
3
Jill Wilhite :
Impact
2026-05-15 13:51:19
0
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