@thealeonen: My therapist taught me about the chair theory, and it's been living in my head rent-free ever since. You know the feeling when you're with someone, but something feels off. You're careful with your words. You dim yourself down. You feel like you have to prove you’re worth staying for. Then there are other people Where you feel seen and safe. Like you can just exist without editing yourself. That's not random. That's the Chair Theory at work. Here's what it means: in every relationship, there's a table. And when someone truly values you, they pull up a chair when you arrive. They make space for your feelings, your needs, your voice, without you having to ask. But in the wrong relationship, you're standing. Waiting for permission to matter. Shrinking yourself to fit. And here's what hit me: if you’re constantly fighting for a seat at Someone's table, you are sitting at the wrong one. Love isn't something you should have to audition for. I thought about all the times I made myself smaller to keep someone comfortable. The moments I swallowed my needs because I was afraid of being "too much." The relationships where I performed instead of just existed. And I realized: I wasn't asking for too much. I was just asking the wrong person. Because the right person doesn't make you bego for a chair. They save you one before you even. walk in. If someone's not making space for you, it's not because you're hard to love. It's because they're not your person. You're allowed to leave relationships where you're standing. You're allowed to stop shrinking to fit someone else's table. You're allowed to find the person who already saved you a seat. Because exhausting yourself to earn love from someone who won't pull up a chair won't make them love you more. It'll just make you forget what it feels like to be chosen without trying. #healing #therapy #MentalHealth #growth

Thea | Life in Melbourne 🇦🇺

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Monday 04 May 2026 10:47:06 GMT