@theonion: Doctors Confirm Rudy Giuliani In Liquid But Stable Condition

Doktor Halcyon :

static jazz :

my sources say rudy is non-newtonian please god

futureeghost :

“what does that even mean- oh The Onion.”

jspo :

im embarrassed by how long it took me to realize this was the onion 😂

DumplingPooter :

Moist

Sybist :

“Tf you mean liquid condi..oh it’s the onion”

Zachus :

“IM MELTING….. I’m MELTINGGGGG” (wizard of oz)

Trennnnnnnon!! :

Johan Andrén :

thankfully news i can trust

jimla_63 :

Had me in the first half lol

One A.M. Podcast :

oh shit the Onion is going to be a real news source one day 😩😩😩

Jimmy :

aw man I'll check in again next week

SeattleSiren :

I didn’t realize it was The Onion account for too long

Ryan Howard :

Liquid? Like the Senator from X Men? Is he gonna melt?

Kimmie :

😂😂 I was like a fluid state? 🤔🤔 oh it’s the onion 😂

Hmerr :

brooklyn_kellysf :

YoureTheSprayToMyBidet :

Julia Goo-lia

itsallama :

OMG I LOVE THE ONION

marxist385 :

Thoughts and prayers

Messages from the future :

It sounds like it's a fluid situation

spoopy loops :

I didn’t see it was the onion and spat my drink out at “liquid”

Mild Sauce :

was this because of some sort of bad interaction with his hair dye?

Dallas Petroleum :

Oh like that one guy in X-Men!