Steph the Attachment Professor
Region: US
Thursday 07 May 2026 18:00:00 GMT
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Mel :
Not at all. My boomer mother thinks my life should revolve around her and my sole purpose is to put her needs above all others including my children. I'm 41 and she's 62.
2026-05-22 14:58:22
97
T :
Yes to all of this! My mom will often say, “Well I know you’re busy so I don’t want to intrude.” And I will respond with, “Please stop projecting this fear that I’m too busy— let ME decide if I’m too busy.” I live across the street from her and it’s been weeks since she has reached out to me besides a text here and there to tell me she’s going to the grocery store or getting her haircut.
2026-05-08 13:25:04
8
SpilledTea :
No it’s kinda the opposite for me
2026-05-08 00:06:03
18
Sarbop 🆘 🇺🇸 🆘 :
I think it’s also because they grew up having to be the ones to reach out to their parents. They think it’s the kid’s job to do the connecting and planning. At least in my family anyway.
2026-05-07 18:22:08
79
nick :
Yes, my mom did this. It drive me crazy and I desperately wanted a psychological label for it because I knew something was off about her brain/cognition. Years later she developed dementia. I believe this was an early symptom. I've learned the hard way that dementia is more than memory loss, it also causes executive dysfunction, paranoia, personality changes, and irrational thinking.
2026-06-29 08:03:03
1
Cheesepuff166 :
But when I send random updates and photos I get crickets or “ok”
2026-05-11 14:22:39
33
Amanda :
Omg my mom does this! I don’t think she resents me but she always says “I don’t want to bother you…” no matter how much I reassure her
2026-05-08 02:16:38
14
FrauBlauGrun :
Yeah but I don’t think my mom feels like she’s not important enough. I think she just doesn’t really care. Because when I do call she never really asks anything that goes beyond surface level and she gets very uncomfortable if I share anything unpleasant, challenging, or tough.
2026-05-18 20:37:39
26
Mary Mosquera :
Wow great timing! My parents are great people and I know they love me, but it feels completely on me to be the one to have to reach out,
2026-05-23 19:22:01
11
Blanche :
Never felt more seen! Adult daughter of a Boomer! Literally starts every phone call with “Am I interrupting you?” Meanwhile I’m like why doesn’t she reach out more often?
2026-08-04 23:59:25
4
monique4ever :
idk if my mom is self aware enough to realize the resentment which stems from her desire to contact but inability to lead or curate interactions
2026-06-30 11:53:35
9
RachaelCee :
i feel like this is an extremely optimistic view of what may actually be going on
2026-07-16 01:43:57
3
SilverChangling :
I’m a Gen X daughter of a Boomer mother and you just described how she interacts with me. I hate how in authentic she is and I finally dropped the rope I was holding with all family members. Guess what? Haven’t heard from sibling in over 10 years. Mother and father in one year. I’m done. I’m out. The last voice call I had with my mother was to tell her, in hysterics, that I was getting a divorce. She texted me to ask how I was doing - 8 months after that call. I’m DONE.
2026-05-14 14:47:37
12
Liz :
I couldn't understand if I was losing my mind or if she was just never trying. I looked up my cell records and I called my mom over 200x over the course of like almost 2 years. whenever she called back it was like days later. she would tell other family I was busy too and isolate me from family stuff. I am 5 years no contact. zero regrets.
2026-05-11 22:52:22
5
sherrypmac :
I’m younger Gen X and i find myself doing this with all of my adult kids. I don’t want to bother them. I don’t want them to talk to each other about how annoying mom is. I’ve always tried to follow their lead but that may make them feel unimportant. It’s my responsibility?
2026-05-11 17:24:06
5
Bushay Natasha :
Excuses
2026-07-23 02:33:36
1
Lisa :
You just saved me $100s in therapy, this is 💯💯💯
2026-05-07 18:18:19
7
Meg :
Yeah my mom doesn’t reach out at all - there’s no tension between us at least on my side so it’s pretty confusing. I’ve long accepted it
2026-05-08 13:44:12
9
lbrady152 :
100% I’ve told my mom over and over to call and if I can’t talk, I won’t answer and I’ll call back. She still doesn’t call. She DOES anxiously sends texts about minor or random thoughts she has, which increases the more I don’t reply right away. Any real convo that needs to be had she sends the vague call me when you can.” 😭😭😭
2026-05-07 18:13:27
24
Phototone :
As a boomer mother, we know how busy you are and don’t want to butt into your business. We love you and just let you live your life. If you need us, you know how to reach us.
2026-08-17 16:46:10
1
Grace Blackford :
Yeah it’s really frustrating. Bc it’s entirely up to me to make plans and reach out. Every single time.
2026-06-22 17:57:29
4
Southern❌Crone🇺🇸🌎 :
Not at all. my mom reaches out to try to have me solve every possible little problem she can come up with and then listens to every solution I give her and comes up with some b******* reason why it won't work. I'm literally the only person she talks to because I'm the only person that will put up with her.
2026-09-07 23:16:06
1
Leia Dellafemina :
My boomer mom always asks to come see the kids on the weekends and that's usually when we're busy. So I asked her " mom is there a reason you only wanna visit on the weekends?" and she said " well Travis ( my 34 year old brother who still lives at home and wont drive either ) doesn't have work so we don't have to worry about picking up or dropping him off ". And I said " ok but you can literally visit any other day, it's summer so the week is usually open " AND he hasn't asked to come over in over a month now. Because I laid one rule out.
2026-07-04 18:57:39
1
Tara Mario :
Yeah this…. The phone works only on my end apparently
2026-07-14 12:45:03
1
ChockyKoala :
The phone goes both ways, but I’m the only one who reaches out.
2026-06-01 02:01:22
5
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