@relationshipswithaly: So much to unpack here. And let me be clear, the way this conversation started was not ideal. Both partners said a lot of unhelpful things, but I wanted to try and make it realistic to some of these dynamics. The moment I want you to focus on is where the cycle got interrupted. It was the moment when he paused, looked down, and said "I don't want to this cycle again. I shut down, you panic, we both make it worse." It was a simple moment of zooming out, going meta, and remembering that it doesn't have to be a blame game. It was a simple, subtle way of taking accountability and saying "I know I'm a part of this too, it's not all on you." That tiny zoom out gave the couple enough breathing room to get to the pause where they could both regulate, instead of a pause that would act as an abandonment trigger. Let's discuss in the comments - which parts of this dialogue resonated and what do you hope could be different for them next time? And P.S. The TALK Blueprint course is still half off - access it today and break these patterns for good. Disclaimer: Social Media is not therapy. This content is for educational and entertainment purposes only. This content is not personally about the creator. THIS WILL NOT APPLY TO EVERYONE.
Relationships With Aly
Region: US
Saturday 09 May 2026 20:36:11 GMT
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✨Tabatha✨ :
K.... guys!! When she's crying, you experience guilt. But, she isn't crying to make you feel guilt, that's just how you respond to crying. She is crying because she is hurting. Don't turn our hurt into something that centres you. If you see or hear crying, stop. Focus on her and her hurt, get curious, ask questions, listen to what she is telling you and then empathize.
2026-05-10 16:10:07
638
akoshito :
Is it healthy to say I need ten minutes to calm down?
2026-05-26 13:15:16
50
jena :
imagine having to be this careful just to try to get accountability when they did something wrong, run
2026-05-13 13:26:47
71
Beans :
He always use to leave and walk out (even when he said he wouldn’t) which always made me anxious and question the stability, and whilst he did a lot of nice and caring things for me, he always shut down when it came to the hard parts
2026-05-13 13:01:07
58
Leon :
Start by not accusing them of not loving you
2026-06-04 21:28:28
5
thatgalinoveralls :
He thinks being in the room is the same thing as "being there".
2026-07-03 03:18:55
5
Emilio :
The cycle never ends
2026-05-15 17:42:55
21
doe :
he dumped me today saying he doesn't think he ever loved me that I never did anything wrong..
2026-05-17 09:33:12
3
travismitchell235 :
my wife all the time
2026-06-29 16:26:23
0
norris :
as an anxious attached person. that distans would kill me. when I talk to you about stuff I need physical contact. I need physical safety to feel safe to talk.
2026-05-31 16:58:51
4
The Captain 🆘 🇺🇸 :
Stay strong y’all! If you’re seeing this, then i know you’re a struggling anxious attachment, but at least you are curious enough to explore what can make it better 💜
2026-05-28 07:18:48
6
kawa750 :
This shit doesn't work
2026-05-25 07:36:14
1
xtiniYogini :
Can’t quite get to the last part. 💔
2026-05-10 14:13:36
12
WildFlower🫶🌷🌺🏵️🌸 :
he called me insecure
2026-06-01 06:02:54
1
Aki :
we were here, at this point, and still, the next time it's the same as before...
2026-06-12 05:15:49
1
lonestar547 :
And then hit repeat
2026-06-08 18:54:07
1
Artemis._ :
can I download this please?
2026-05-26 04:10:31
0
🄱🄰🄼🄱🄸 🄿🄾🅁🅃🅄🄶🄰🄻 :
It will not help
2026-06-09 01:30:09
0
mjfromjax :
Having the ability to regroup and come back to try again is so high level maturity on both sides 💯💯💯
2026-05-09 23:44:32
6
Dewayne gen x :
I know that feeling
2026-06-18 00:01:16
0
dy7wevmrctdi :
This doesn’t happen in reality 😢 Avoidants don’t overcome their thrust to shut down, run away, and break contact, no matter how anxious balance themselves 😔
2026-05-10 11:47:35
28
We’re all mad here 🇦🇺 :
How to fix and anxious avoidant relationship: Go. To. Therapy. Separately and together if you still want the relationship.
2026-05-26 20:48:41
1
BaliBabe💛 :
It only works if the Avoidant is willing to talk, like on this video. More likely scenario? They insist on leaving, walking out, ghosting after being upset & defensive every time you’re trying to talk then never address the issue when they come back. Repeat.
2026-06-16 14:07:59
1
:
if only it was that easy…
2026-06-18 18:54:31
0
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